On last night’s Bachelorette, the gang traveled to Iceland on their quest to find true love, and Bachelorette Ali took two of the remaining contestants — Justin, the “Entertainment Wrestler,” and Kasey, the sweet but intense “Advertising Executive” — on a two-on-one date to Iceland’s hottest tourist attraction: The infamous Eyjafjallajökull volcano. (Instead of closing down Europe’s airports and creating international travel chaos, it’s finally using its destructive powers for good: to eliminate reality-show contestants.) In last week’s episode, Ali took Kasey on a date to the Museum of Natural History, only to have him weird her out by breaking into a spontaneous (off-key) love song and robotically repeating empty-seeming platitudes like, “I will guard and protect your heart”; “I choose to be here for you. I choose you and I hope that one day you can choose me”; and “It’s just what you do to me. You inspire me.” Though The Bachelorette fully embraces cheesy proclamations of love, Kasey’s overkill was notable, and apparent in Ali’s raised eyebrows.
Instead of calming down, as she’d asked him to (“the only thing Kasey has to do is be normal,” says Ali), Kasey got a tattoo to show his devotion: a shield, because he’ll “guard and protect Ali’s heart,” eleven studs to represent the contestants, and also a rose, which needs no explanation. When he finally showed her the tattoo during their volcano date, it provided the amusingly horrified reaction from Ali that we (and the other contestants, who’d been slyly encouraging Kasey to reveal it) had been hoping for. Kasey was left standing on the glacier alone as Ali and Justin flew back to the other, sane(ish) guys. The lesson here is that even on The Bachelorette, a show in which love has no shades of gray and people are forced to declare their undying love in only a matter of days, there are still some romantic gestures that go too far. Also: Tattoos of roses are generally a horrible idea, regardless of circumstances. And: Crazy Kasey’s Burberry scarf is probably not the product placement the company was hoping for.