27 Reasons That Eclipse the Movie Is Better Than Eclipse the Book
1 of 27
Back to the Intro

27 Reasons That Eclipse the Movie Is Better Than Eclipse the Book

1 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
Its opening scene, in which a young man is attacked by a vampire in an alley, will remind you of the similar openings of 43 different episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And then you’ll remember how good that show was.
2 of 27
Photo: istock
Instead of obsessively rereading Wuthering Heights, Bella’s studying Robert Frost for her English final — which means maybe no one will ever actually release the Brontë with this cover.
3 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
Edward’s first-ever attempt at a joke (“Doesn’t he own a shirt?”) is, hilariously, drowned out by the audience shrieking at Jacob’s shirtless chest.
4 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
And don’t worry, his abs look just as great as ever. This time we think this one was our favorite.
5 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment, istock
In the movie, when Jacob shows up in his black T-shirt, we get an awesome hard-rock guitar cue. The only way to replicate that at home would be to play your own electric guitar while you read (which would be great, actually).
6 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
In a welcome nod to subtlety, female werewolf Leah Clearwater does not also run around without her shirt on.
7 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
Rather than sixteen pages of made-up myths from a made-up Indian tribe, the campfire scene is like a minute long and just gets to the point.
8 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
The wolves actually look totally terrific, CGI panda dogs though they may be. They’re so cute! Wolf Jacob even gets his head scratched by Bella.
9 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment, istock
On the other hand: “Jake! Stay!” If that line doesn’t make you laugh, you’re not paying attention.
10 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
Plus: wolf noogies with Seth Clearwater!
11 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment; Little, Brown
In the movie, Victoria’s chase through the woods is an exciting sequence full of vampires and wolves and jumping over rivers. In the book, it’s described after the fact by Edward in that stupid flourishy handwriting font.
12 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
Bryce Dallas Howard is so terrible as Victoria! Does she need money? That makes us feel better about not being a movie star.
13 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
Also, she totally gets her head ripped off, which is pretty awesome.
14 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
No matter how much you try, David Slade, you will never successfully make Seattle look gritty and dangerous. This shot did make us want some coffee, though.
15 of 27
"These newborn vampires are very difficult to kill. We'll need to train out here in this field. We're gonna need a montage!"
16 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
The Cullens take a moment before the big climactic fight to model the latest in newborn-killing activewear.
17 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
Dakota Fanning: still creepy!
18 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
However, the guy who plays Felix looks exactly like Ashton Kutcher, and it's fun to pretend that Dakota Fanning is torturing Ashton Kutcher for some kind of industry-related reason.
19 of 27
Photo: Patrick McMullen (Anna Kendrick photo), Getty Images (graduation image)
Clearly, at some point some executive slapped his head and said, “Oh shit, now there’s an Oscar nominee in our cast.” So they made Jessica class valedictorian and let Anna Kendrick make a speech. A good one about how 18-year-olds should be screwing around and not making serious life decisions! Natalie Keener would never make that speech.
20 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
And it's sweet that all those other nice young actors whom Catherine Hardwicke cast as Bella's school friends get, like, five minutes to strut their stuff. That's proportionally way more play than they get in the book.
21 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment; Miramax
All the flashbacks are ridiculous, but none more than Nikki Reed in her old-timey wedding dress. Almost definitely a Kill Bill homage!
22 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
While Eclipse does amp up Bree Tanner's role, the filmmakers are classy enough not to actually include a big onscreen ad for Meyer's new book.
23 of 27
Actual, non-grammatical line from the screenplay: “I could care less what you need.” Sigh, Jacob would totally say that.
24 of 27
Photo: istock
“I at least wanna hyphenate my name,” Bella declares. Oh, okay, Betty Friedan is now totally cool with this movie.
25 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment, istock
One proposal scene? How about two proposal scenes ...
26 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment
... with the same ugly ring!
27 of 27
Photo: Summit Entertainment, istock
“I am hotter than you,” Jacob says to Edward, the greatest line ever in the history of motion pictures.

SPONSORED MESSAGE

Latest News from Vulture

Hollywood Reacts to Jussie Smollett Being Cleared of Criminal Charges

“TOLD YALL.”

Christine Goerke Is a Spectacular Wagnerian First Daughter

Brünnhilde’s personal branding has never been better.

Join Rachel Sennott’s Baby Cult If You Dare

“We’re just preparing for when our lives become exciting.”

With Dumbo, Tim Burton Proves He Still Knows How to Give Us What We Want

The story and dialogue are pitched at the level of children’s fantasy, simple and direct and subtlety-free.

None of Us’s Jump Scares Compare to the Evil Family’s Sandals

The horror!

Netflix Adds a Stand-up Series From Tiffany Haddish

Haddish will present performances by six up-and-coming comedians.

Jordan Klepper’s New Comedy Central Show Debuts in May

Get ready for Klepper.

A Princess Bride Musical Is Looking More … Conceivable

David Yazbek is working on the music, while Bob Martin and Rick Elice are writing the book.

Decoding The OA: Part II’s Extremely Meta Ending

It’s the most OA thing The OA: Part II could possibly have done.

Cook County Drops All Criminal Charges Against Jussie Smollett

The case has been cleared from the Empire actor’s record.