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Vincent Kartheiser Finally Breaks Down and Buys a Toilet

“I need to stop this. I’ll be 80 years old and people will still be wondering this. Yes, yes, my God, I have a toilet. I do have a toilet and I don’t have a car.” —Mad Men’s Vincent Kartheiser on the toilet issue [Boston Herald]

“I can’t be online because, [I’d] have to be online! I’d love to please the fans because of the way they support us, but time is not enough. It wouldn’t be enough the amount of time I spent online with them.” —Kristen Stewart on not joining Twitter [Tú via Twilight Poison]

“[I]t wasn’t until my third day of work that I finally decided to slip past Conan — hunched over his desk, busily doodling on that day’s script — and join the other writers behind the couch. As I settled into my spot among three veteran writers and prayed for invisibility, Conan glanced over, sized us up, and mock sneered, “Look at you four, standing there. You’re like a Mount Rushmore of incompetence.” Then he chuckled and returned to his cartooning. It was a quality put-down, and I was honestly overjoyed to be included in it.” —Comedian and former Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien writer Todd Levin on his first days on the job [GQ]

“When I began making music, I had this thought [that] the name wasn’t going to be that big a deal. I was WRONG about that.” —Jakob Dylan on Bob Dylan [Scottish News of the World]

“It’s imminent. The coin is about to drop.” —Bruce Willis on the Die Hard 5 green-light [MTV]

“He used to tell me stuff like, ‘You’re going to start seeing certain things you’ve been overlooking.’ And it came true. … I’d walk around like, ‘Damn, that tree does look crazy,’” —Eminem on Elton John’s advice to him while he was getting sober [Spin via Spinner]

“Paramount was very generous and solicitous with me for several years, saying, ‘Would you like to do it?’ And at the time, I was like, ‘They should just let it be what it is!’ … Now, it’s like, why not just do it? I should have done it, because now it’s happening anyway!” —Tina Fey on Mean Girls 2 [Movieline]

“It’s time to stop. We have told the story we wanted to tell, and this is going to be a great farewell.” —Saw producer Oren Koules on Saw 3-D being the end of the franchise [USAT]

“No one is going to play Elizabeth Taylor but Elizabeth Taylor herself. … Not at least until I’m dead, and at the moment I’m having too much fun being alive … and I plan on staying that way.” —Elizabeth Taylor [DameElizabeth/Twitter]

“Oh baby, I was typecast the minute I did a film called Girlfight years ago. … If I decided I didn’t want to be typecast tomorrow I’d just go do an indie film where I play some poor girl who goes through some excruciating experience and win myself an award for crying or being raped” [breaks into laughter] “or playing someone with mental illness. But at the end of the day I’m not in it for the acting. … I could give two shits. I only wanna be someone I respect or someone that I consider interesting or fun. I’m here to entertain people and make a statement about female empowerment and strength and that’s what I’ve done for the last 10 years, and people can call it typecast, but I pigeonholed myself and I put myself in that box for saying no to everything else that came on my plate. Saying no to the girlfriend, saying no to the girl that gets captured, no to this, no to that. And eventually I just got left with the strong chick that’s always being killed, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” —Michelle Rodriguez [Playlist]

Vincent Kartheiser Finally Breaks Down and Buys a Toilet