Earlier this month, a call to arms on behalf of Sylvester Stallone’s old-guy blow-’em-up The Expendables went out on the Internet, in the form of a movie trailer. The trailer chastised men: “You’ve been handing the keys to Hollywood to teenage girls and G.N.O.,” before identifying Julia Roberts’s Eat Pray Love, a film daring to open on the same day, as the enemy. It then exhorted all people with penises to remember that, in The Expendables, “the only men you’re allowed to love are together at last,” so, “If this loses to Eat Pray Love? You don’t. Deserve. To be. A. Man.” Unfortunately for both fabricated beefs and neurotic masculinity, the Eat Pray Love–Expendables face-off is not quite the crucible of gender relations it’s been billed as: Turns out, Julia Roberts finding herself is not as dissimilar from Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, and Mickey Rourke destroying things as you might imagine. This chick flick and this dick flick actually have a lot in common! Fifteen things, to be exact. Consider the similarities — from questing heroes who like to help people in the Third World while wearing floppy hats, to sidekicks with tragic backstories and love interests with Spanish accents — in this slideshow.