Labor Day’s about a week away, the Equinox isn’t until the 23rd, and you may well have an entire weekend of indolent outdoor drinking planned — but it’s the last day of August, and barring any kind of imminent Men In Black-type mass mind-erasing, we already know which song will be victorious. So congratulations, Katy Perry: “California Gurls” — your blunt, effective, inescapable mercenary of a pop single — has claimed Vulture’s 2010 Song of the Summer crown. Cue the confetti drop!
Putting aside for now the merits of the actual song (we, too, would right now do horrible, terrible, indescribable things to avoid ever having to hear it again), let us appreciate the dominance of its wire-to-wire front-runner SOTS campaign. When it premiered in early May, we wrote, “Are you ready for Katy Perry to own your summer?” And — through breast-projectile music videos, half-naked album and magazine covers, Australian prom-crashings, almost completely unveiled dick references, mind-blowingly awfulsome lyrics, about a billion YouTube parodies, and some actually great songs — that is exactly what’s happened. This is what we look for in a Song of the Summer: true domination over its field in the prescribed time period. It was never in doubt. And, for that, we salute you, Ms. Perry.
But there’s more! Which tracks bested the competition in their respective fields?
SOTS: Rhythm and Blues - Cee Lo, “Fuck You”
Cee Lo, the sentimental favorite, busted through his post-Gnarls Barkley anonymity with a delightfully profane dig at his money-grubbing ex-girlfriend and her lame new boyfriend. If Cee Lo had only had the foresight to drop it earlier in the season, we may well have had an actual race on our hands.