Well, this is horrible. E! has ordered a new reality series called Bridalplasty, in which soon-to-be brides compete to win plastic-surgery procedures. In what we wish were a satire of reality show and not an actual reality show, brides will participate in challenges like “writing wedding vows and planning honeymoons” with the winner getting “the chance to choose a plastic surgery procedure from her ‘wish list.’ She’s given the procedure immediately, and results are shown at the start of the following week’s episode.” (Which, given post-plastic-surgery bruising, seems to defy the healing powers of the human body.) The winning bride “will receive a ‘dream wedding,’ where she will reveal her new appearance to friends, family and the groom,” because nothing says “let’s spend our lives in a loving and committed relationship” like, “Oh, hi, how do you like my brand-new cat face?” The celebrity surgeon involved with this show was previously involved with Fox atrocity The Swan, but somehow the celebrity host is Shanna Moakler, not Heidi Montag.