SNL Horse Race Roundup: Week 1

SNL is known as a highly competitive place to work. Cast members are all gunning for the same limited airtime every week, and it’s a zero-sum game. If one cast member is in five sketches, those are slots that someone else can’t have. And because Lorne Michaels is famously withholding of compliments, their screen time every week is pretty much the only measuring stick they have as to how they’re doing.

So why not just do the counting for them? Welcome to SNL Horse Race Roundup, a new weekly feature where we’ll track just how well the individual SNL cast members are doing, based on how much screen time they get. I’ll keep track of all of this info throughout the entire season, and by the finale, we should have a clear view of who has won the season. Because, if nothing else, everybody loves a good competition, right?

The season premiere was a strange one, as it was hosted by an extremely popular former cast member, and it was stuffed to the gills with guests. With all of those extra people around, and with a host who could play the crazy characters rather than needing crazy characters to play the straight man to, there just weren’t as many opportunities for the rest of the cast. I mean, just look at this list of guest appearances: Justin Timberlake, Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon, Maya Rudolph and Gov. David Paterson. It’s no wonder we barely got to see most of the new cast members. But, in any case, onward with the number crunching!

Repertory Players

Fred Armisen

-Major Characters: 1 (Maternity Matters)

-Minor Appearances: 3 (Monologue, Hair Restoration Ad, Expendables Ad)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 1 (David Paterson)

Abby Elliott

-Major Characters: 0

-Minor Appearances: 4 (Maternity Matters, The Lean Years, Ladies Who Lunch, Expendables Ad)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

Bill Hader

-Major Characters: 3 (Cold Open, Ground Zero Mosque Ad, Boogerman Digital Short)

-Minor Appearances: 2 (Maternity Matters, Expendables Ad)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

Bobby Moynihan

-Major Characters: 0

-Minor Appearances: 2 (Hair Restoration Ad, Expendables Ad)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

Andy Samberg

-Major Characters: 2 (Boogerman Digital Short, Actor II Actor)

-Minor Appearances: 3 (Maternity Matters, The Lean Years, Expendables Ad)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

Jason Sudeikis

-Major Characters: 1 (Cold Open)

-Minor Appearances: 2 (Hair Restoration Ad, Expendables Ad)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

Kenan Thompson

-Major Characters: 0

-Minor Appearances: 2 (Monologue, Expendables Ad)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

Kristen Wiig

-Major Characters: 2 (Cold Open, Ladies Who Lunch)

-Minor Appearances: 3 (Hair Restoration Ad, Maternity Matters, The Lean Years)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

-Bonus: Said “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

Featured players

Vanessa Bayer

-Major Characters: 0

-Minor Appearances: 3 (Cold Open, Ground Zero Mosque, Ladies Who Lunch)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

Paul Brittain

-Major Characters: 0

-Minor Appearances: 2 (The Lean Years, Boogerman Digital Short)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

Taran Killam

-Major Characters: 0

-Minor Appearances: 2 (Boogerman Digital Short, Expendables Ad)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

Nasim Pedrad

-Major Characters: 0

-Minor Appearances: 3 (Monologue, The Lean Years, Hair Restoration Ad)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 0

Jay Pharoah

-Major Characters: 0

-Minor Appearances: 1 (Expendables Trailer)

-Weekend Update Desk Appearances: 1 (Will Smith)

Winners and Losers

Because of the high number of sketches Amy Poehler got to be the major character in and thanks to all those guest stars, there weren’t a lot of slots to go around. Hell, the lead sketch, Bronx Beat, didn’t feature a single castmember, only Amy, Maya Rudolph and Katy Perry.

The big winners were Fred Armisen, who got both a sketch based around one of his characters and a lengthy Weekend Update piece, and Kristen Wiig, who got to try out her Christine O’Donnell impersonation during the cold open as well as playing sizable roles in a number of other sketches.

Of the new featured players, Jay Pharoah clearly came out on top with his great Will Smith impression during Weekend Update.

On the bottom, Kenan Thompson and Bobby Moynihan were barely in the episode, along with the rest of the featured players. But next week should be a more “normal” episode with more opportunities for all of the cast to get into sketches.

Graphics by Steve Dressler.

SNL Horse Race Roundup: Week 1