Big thanks to the hundred-plus readers who entered our Let Me In iPad giveaway by submitting their best ideas for selling iPads to vampires. The proposed commercials were terrific, and if we were vampires, we would have bought so many iPads by now. But the winning, iPad-earning entry came from Vulture reader artiefufkin:
Nighttime. A man is seen outside on a porch. A party can be heard coming from inside the house. The man pulls out his Ipad, checks his email. The evite has arrived, he’s now free to go in. He smiles … revealing vampire teeth.
Simple, clever. Nicely done, artiefufkin. May you receive many enticing party e-vites on your beautiful new iPad. And, although we can’t give out any more iPads, we’d like to acknowledge two very compelling runners-up:
It’s a sparsely populated vampire wedding at a generic looking wedding hall/hotel ballroom. Vampire guests 3-4 at a table look bored while they stir their drinks and/or mingle half-heartedly. We see the band’s instruments set up, but no band members. We see a shot out the window and we realize that we are in the midst of a blizzard. The vampire bride is in tears, consoled by her vampire groom.
One hipster vampire guest is sitting there playing on his iPad and looks up and looks around. He approaches the PA system with his iPad, opens iTunes, plugs it in, selects “We Are Family”. A few vampires look up, look around, confused, but smiling. An elderly vampire couple begins to dance. Cut to: montage of hipster vampire downloading and playing songs off the iPad and the vampire guests dancing to “Crazy in Love”, “Celebration”, other wedding classics . Cut to: hipster vampire pulling up the bride’s Ping page, playing her favorite Abba song. Cut to: vampire bride smiling, laughing, dancing with friends. Cut to: Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” as the vampire couple slow dance and the vampire father of the bride watches with pride. The iPad saved the vampire wedding!
And from marlowstern:
The commercial opens with a shot of the sun shining down on a suburban neighborhood, just like any other suburb. Then, an exterior shot of an old, ramshackle house. A tracking shot snakes you up the steps, through the front door, through a contemporary kitchen. The camera zooms in on scattered sleeping pill bottles/pills on the white kitchen counter, stained with a few drops of blood. The camera focuses on the ground, following a tiny trail of spilled blood on the ground to the elegant living room. Artwork by everyone from Banksy to Monet to Bruegel decorate the walls. The camera focuses on a coffin lying in the middle of the living room, where the trail of blood stops. The camera zooms in on the side of the coffin, where you can faintly hear someone cackling. Then the camera zooms inside the coffin, where a fanged vampire is watching “Modern Family” on an iPad that’s attached to the top of the interior of the coffin, and eating a bloody sandwich.