This week many of you were disappointed with the Greatest Show of Our Time for many reasons: the Dan-Blair relationship, Blair wanting to intern with a “powerful woman,” the whole Thorpe thing, and, of course, dumb Serena. On the other hand, many of you were happy with this Vanessa and Little J–free episode, the subtle sexual tension between Lily and Chuck, and, of course, with Blair deciding to intern for a fashion magazine. Some win, some lose, but it looks like it’s going to be a great second half of the season. And now on with the recap of the recap, brought to you this week by ParkAvenuePrince.
Realer Than a Possible Love Affair Between Chuck and Lily
• “+50 points for Dan’s continued assimilation into an Upper East Side princess. He now knows that tights aren’t pants and soon he’ll be working at a fashion magazine. Maybe all the Dan/Blair subtext is just to throw us off from Dan and Nate finally making their love official.” —FEED_THE_DUCKS
• “I know you disapprove of me, but can’t you at least do so in a tuxedo” should be the tagline to this show. Plus 5.” —KDOW3
• “Plus 10 for the prospect that Chuck will sleep with Lily.” —POLISHPIEROGI
• “The writers OBVIOUSLY referred to the ‘hook-up chart’ http://bit.ly/cXy7tk in order to see who hasn’t hooked up with who yet. Blair and Dan are inevitable. Since ‘Chair’ isn’t going to happen anytime soon, plus 2.” —CK_XOXO
• “Ben was the only guy to turn serena down and she can’t stand it. of course they have to get together. +2 because he’s not dan. — 50 because he’s not nate.” —CRABTREEACRES
• “I assume that Rose, Gerstein & Block is the law firm of Cyrus Rose. Plus another 2 for Blair subtly making sure that her future employers know that she is the step-daughter of NYC’s favorite gnomish legal powerhouse.” —ANDREAZUCKERMANVASQUEZ
• “+20 for Serena’s purple thigh-highs while standing at the corner by the jail in Staten Island at the end of the episode. Her transformation to full-on streetwalker is almost complete.” —APATHYONMYSIDE
Faker Than Eleanor’s Post-It for Blair
• “Blair bets Dan only $10? Minus 3. This is Gossip Girl, not Teen Mom, these kids have a few more zeros to play with.” —IMNOTSLYDEXIC
• “’Charles, I assume you weren’t upstairs playing Rufus’s guitars.’ Plus 1 for the glee I get out of Lily calling Chuck ‘Charles.’ Minus 2 for the still-fresh memories of Chuck saying that Serena-dressed-as-Lily turns him on.” —ICH_BIN_CHUCK_BASS
• “Minus infinity for all of you advocating for Dair sex. The day that happens is the day I quit this show for good.” —THENEXT_MRSBASS
• “‘Any handwriting expert would be able to prove this is not mine!’ Yes, Serena, so would the signature on your Passport. But we get it, that’s, like, WAY less cool. Minus 1.” —DACEYLEE
• “Don’t forget, Rufus once described Vanessa as ‘part of the family’ and Dan eventually hooked up with her too. Dan’s just begging Blair to be his ‘sister.’” Ew. Minus 2.” —BRANDIE_LARUE
• “-10 for it being the New Year, but there are still leaves on the trees and no snow on the ground.” —UESIDER08
• “Minus 10 for Little Eric’s ever-wavering loyalties. He spent much of this season not talking to Chuck because of the Jenny stuff, and just a couple of episodes ago was fully in favor of putting Serena in rehab just because Lily said so. Now he’s all bitchy to Lily on Chuck and Serena’s behalf?” —EMMYLOSER
• “Apparently I’m the only one who thinks it’s bananas that Serena can don a cashmere coat and sunglasses and pass herself off as Lily in order to gain access to her safe deposit box. -30” —BLAIRISMYGRACEKELLY
• “Dudes, minus 10 for your hear/here where/wear misspellings. For shame!” —LREISER
• “-25 : WHY are blair’s only two choices in all the world CEO of pepsi or fashion mogul?? And why does is seem like this has no reliance on her actual major — which is what exactly” —JESUISLATV
• “Apparently the only successful African-Americans are from Chicago. Minus 5.” —REMYNYC
If you guys want the recap of the recap to continue, you have to volunteer to do it! E-mail amartell[at]nymag.com if you’re interested, subject “Tights are still not pants.”
