The hip-hop community was rocked this morning by the sight of Gucci Mane’s new tattoo: a triple-scoop ice-cream cone — featuring some elegant lightning bolts and his catchphrase, “brr” — right on his face. People on Twitter — dazed, bewildered — called out for help: Would any blog be brave enough, they wondered, to place Gucci’s new ink in its proper historical context among a bunch of other rappers’ hideous facial tattoos? Vulture has heard your cry. You’re welcome.
This will certainly not be one of those slideshows that makes fun of the Game for getting a butterfly tattoo — we appreciated his boldness! What we didn’t like was how he wimped out later and covered it up with a Dodgers logo.
Young Money weed carrier Tyga has an unidentifiable squiggle on top of each eyebrow. Anyone know what that thing is? Until we find out, Tyga will remain near the bottom of this list.
Chinese characters (presumably those indicating “power” and “strength”) and what looks like the letters “SODMO” above the brow. The thing is, though, Soulja Boy’s muddled hodgepodge of facial ink means that no one terrible tattoo truly stands out.
Wiz, of course, has inked his whole body
. On the face? Just a single lonely star. Not too tough — but totally adorable!
Breezy has rapped
, which means he’s eligible for the list. So are three stars better than one? Yes!
Another part-time rapper; AI used to go by the name Jewelz
before NBA commissioner David Stern got upset about his profane lyrics. There’s a lot going on in that giant neck tat, so we’ll let you parse it yourself. But he wears that three-quarter spiderweb well, does he not?
Before you get upset that Birdman and his head stars ranked so high on this list, remember — that used to be an oil rig
there on the right side of his scalp. Most improved!
Elegant, classy, understated. But couldn’t that angel be holding a machine gun or something?
Along with a coterie of other knickknacks, Weezy’s got “Fear” and “God” on each eyelid. Good choice of word selection, but also major points for having eyelid tattoos
. Makes for great mixtape covers
Gucci! Holy crap, dude! Please stop staring at us! You win!