the greatest show of our time

Gossip Girl Has Never Owned a Scrunchie

Though Gossip Girl continues to insist that it is indeed winter in New York City, the fall foliage and Blair’s outfits continue to suggest otherwise. But the Greatest Show of Our Time seems to thrive on inconsistency and impossibility, proven every Tuesday morning by everyone’s favorite reality index. This week, many of you were upset with Rufus’s implausible decision to hand over the keys to his precious loft to an ex-con, but even more of you agreed that the fleeting Chair moment made this episode worth suffering through the Upper East Siders never eating or going to class. One more thing this episode had going for it was perhaps one of the greatest lines in the history of the show: “Fashion is the most powerful art there is. It’s movement, design, and architecture all in one. It shows the world who we are and who we’d like to be.” Amen, Blair. Now on to the best of your comments, brought to you this week by SEACHELE.

Realer Than Rufus Owning a Plot at a Community Garden
• “Chuck asks Stuart if he can borrow Raina, and then stands there until Stuart leaves. Plus 10 for demonstrating what “I’m Chuck Bass” means for everyone else.” —PURPLEANDGREEN

• “Rufus’s excuse for being at the W party: ‘Normally I wouldn’t attend an event like this without lily, but I needed some air.’ Really, Rufus? Stop trying to hide it. No one gets dressed up in a tux and shows up at high-profile events because they ‘needed some air.’ But +50 for his perpetual state of denial.” —EBROMS

• “The only mentions of Vanessa and Jenny this episode are as a giver of a hideous scarf and the reason a nice boy like Eric can’t keep a boyfriend, respectively. Plus 10” —EMMYLOSER

• “When Epperly says “Princeton, Yale, Penn, Parsons,” the look on Blair’s face as Parsons is mentioned, as if it were some trade school in south Boston and not a prestigious fashion school. For Blair, it might as well be. Plus 3” —JNP1013

• “Nate has become his father’s new wife now that Dan is busy with Blair. Plus 20” —VARTA

• “Plus 5 for Lily’s monogrammed stationary. There’s an entire missing section in the Boreal thanks to the amount of times she needed to replace it due to her ever-changing last name. But damn, is it classy.” —KDOW3

• “Plus 1 that Dan’s scarf is a gift from Vanessa. Knit, no doubt, on the commune using yarn made from her horrible, discarded weaves.” —ANDREAZUCKERMANVASQUEZ

• “I loved the role reversal between Blair and Dan this episode. Blair’s the one who worked for the internship whereas Dan got his stepmom to call in some favours? +5 for his slow transformation into his father.” —CHARENTON

• “The Captain got re-hired by his old friend Montel Williams. Plus 2.” —CHUCKBASSISMYHOMEBOY

• “+5 for Dan knowing the shoes were Marc Jacobs and mustard! Lonely Boy must have spent some time in Serena’s closet holding her shoes and rocking back and forth wondering where he went wrong” —BOWTIESANDHEADBANDS

• “Blair, even performing a minion’s duty, gets to be the gatekeeper. I’ve been telling people in the same tone, “You may enter,” all week. Plus 15” —CCSEB

• “While wallowing in the loss of her internship, Blair sits with a huge plate of croissants on her bed, but only eats a single raspberry. Plus 5.” —MIMI52000

• “When Ben said he was going to Ithaca, it took a second for Serena to register that it is actually a real place where people can go, not like Neverland or Hogwarts.” —NYCGG4233

Faker Than Blair Going From Breakfast in Bed to the W Offices in Fifteen Minutes
• “They’ve started dressing chuck like he’s going to a tea party with alice in wonderland. Get him in a tom ford suit and call it a night.” —COMFORTABLYSMUG

• “30K for Ben to “start a new life”? Thanks, Lily! I’ll be sure to enjoy my new Honda Accord. Minus 5” —DACEYLEE

• “Blair has been taking notes from Chuck. “I’m Blair Waldorf.” -10 for lack of Chair.” —ANNIE_IN_NY

• “WHAT THE HELL was that outfit Blair was wearing when she returned to work? For starters, she is Blair Waldorf, not Samantha Jones circa 1999. And it’s FEBRUARY. -10 for the wardrobe people letting Leighton dress like she’s attending the Country Strong premiere.” —APATHYONMYSIDE

• “There are raw eggs in a bowl on Rufus and Lily’s breakfast table, but no waffles. Minus 2.” —MASHA339

• “Minus 20 for Epperly telling Blair and Dan to pack up their things; they were fired from an internship not kicked off a Bravo reality show.” —FEED_THE_DUCKS

• “-10 for Blair not pretending that Dan went psycho and attacked her, and then having him thrown out of the party. I feel like Blair is losing her edge.” —SHANDRA

• “-100 for not a single actor on this show knowing how to properly hold an empty, fake coffee cup.” —TAMMYXCORE

• “B threw away the phone numbers… but kept the food? We all know the girl doesn’t eat.” —NIKOLE0602

• “-2 for first-day interns working the door at a W party. You’re going to tell me W doesn’t have a PR team?” —INTERNETTE

• “Lack of Nate and Dan (b)romance is killing me. Where else can I get my daily dose of matching plaid and sexual tension in one package? -10000” —JJOVANA3

Gossip Girl Has Never Owned a Scrunchie