The Channels 30 Rock’s Fictional Reality Shows Could Really Air On

Photo: NBC/Courtesy shot
Photo: NBC/Courtesy shot

Tonight’s episode of 30 Rock will be devoted to Queen of Jordan, the fictional Bravo reality show starring Tracy Jordan’s wife Angie (View co-host Sherri Shepherd). Though this promises to be 30 Rock’s most intensive skewering of a reality show yet, it is not nearly the first. 30 Rock has made up, and made fun of, many reality shows before (MILF Island, Are You Stronger Than a Dog?), but Queen of Jordan is the first that seems just about ready for prime time. (We’d watch it. Angie’s a more compelling “Housewife” than most.) This got us thinking: Maybe we dismissed 30 Rock’s other spoofs as just spoofs too soon? So, on the occasion of tonight’s episode, we take a look back at 30 Rock’s eight other fake reality shows and try to imagine circumstances under which they might thrive.

MILF Island
Potential channel: We could almost see a feel-good version of this, 30 Rock’s most famous satire (Survivor with MILFs), running on TV Land after Hot in Cleveland. Yet the only real way we would be interested in this series is if it kept its name, but had nothing whatsoever to do with MILFs, so ABC could pair it with Cougar Town.
Chances of this happening: Slim to none.

Bitch Hunter
Potential channel: A ridiculous action-drama starring Will Ferrell might just work on FX, where it could split the difference between the macho, grizzly Sons of Anarchy and the macho, not-so-grizzly comedy Always Sunny.
Chances of this happening: If Will Ferrell were really on board, who would say no?

Gold Case
Potential channel: A nonsensical John McEnroe–hosted game show, modeled on Deal or No Deal, is semi-plausible on any of the major networks, but we could only bear it if it were on cable access.
Chance of this happening: Rename it Case I Found in the Garbage and we could get this going today.

America’s Next Top Pirate
Potential channel: “Twelve pirates, picked to live on a boat and have their lives taped: to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start saying “Arrrrgh,” stay tuned to the History Channel! ANTP will be airing right after Special: True Caribbean Pirates.”
Chances of this happening: This is so timely right now! If you ensured the pirates were really being trained to do counter-espionage on existing pirates, you could at least film a special.

Are You Stronger Than a Dog?
Potential channel: Have you ever watched one of the Strongman competitions on ESPN or ESPN 2, where enormous dudes hurl kegs, pull cars, and lug enormous pieces of timber around? Wrestling with a dog would fit right in.
Chances of this happening: Seriously, we’re not sure this isn’t already a component of these contests.

America’s Next Top Black Guy
Potential channel: Even to air on BET, this needs a new title. (May we suggest, The Hunt for the Best Man in America?)
Chances of this happening: None.

I’m a Celebrity Dog, Get Me Arff Out of Here
Potential channel: This could go either way, with The Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic Channel or with Dr. Drew on Vh1.
Chances of this happening: We would feel so much better if Dr. Drew were practicing on canines, but this show only has a chance of becoming real with Cesar Millan.

Sports Shouting
Potential channel: 30 Rock is so funny! This show is already on the air, many times over (if by a different name).
Chances of this happening: See above.

The Channels 30 Rock’s Fictional Reality Shows Could Really Air On

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