Last night on Jimmy Fallon, Amy Poehler begged Bill Murray play the mayor on Parks & Recreation, like how the police would hold a press conference to ask for Superman for help. “I feel like Bill Murray doesn’t have a phone or a phone number. I think I heard that he doesn’t have any people who work for him,” Poehler muses, which of course necessitates making her case in front of the American public. After Amy describes how she almost arrived at Jimmy’s show sans a veneer, she clamps her lips over her teeth and beseeches Murray to play the heretofore unforeseen Mayor Gunderson: “Bill Murray, if you’re listening, I will pay you $250 to do one episode of my show.” Jimmy imagines Murray watching the show on a tiny screen. Or, in our mind, dozens of tiny screens that he watches while drinking century-old cognac and using Ghostbusters 3 script as a coaster. There are some people that can only be moved a desperate public plea; we hope Bill Murray is one of them.