As Charlie Sheen so frequently reminds us, you’re either with him or you’re with the trolls. Today, though, he found a rare celebrity ally: Roseanne Barr, who worked acrimoniously with Two and a Half Men creator (and Sheen nemesis) Chuck Lorre on her own sitcom, and names herself, Sheen, Brett Butler, and Cybill Shepherd as “stars who lost big when working with Chuck.” On her blog, Barr has written three entries about the Sheen-Lorre fracas, and though she has some advice for Sheen — “Knowing at least one woman who is not a coke whore might be good for Charlie” — she’s got plenty more to say about Lorre, who she says was fired from Roseanne because of a drinking problem.
Here’s the entry with that allegation:
Charlie, take a break dude. Go to Greece, Paris, China, look at great art and lay low. you got fired, dude. anybody can do your job, really. other guys are funny and not repulsive to intelligent women, though those shit chuck lorre lines could choke a fucking horse, and render any actor who recites them stone cold soul dead. No grown man could really look himself in the mirror knowing that he delivers shit jokes and adolescent sniggering over breasts and women’s body parts lines to the Tea partier types who are big fans of Chuck’s hilarious hijinx. I fired Chuck Lorre for being a big drunk on my show, and he went on to become one of tv’s most successful writers (about dick jokes). Maybe Charlie can start producing porn movies now!!
But several hours later, Barr decided to put out a longer hit on Lorre:
I was going to guest on 2 and a half men once, but when i got the script, it was putrid, so they got cam manheim to do it.
Chuck got pissed off at me for refusing to be part of his brilliance, and insulted me in the nyt, saying that I “beat the wit out of him.” Then, right after he did that, he asked me to make a videotaped presentation honoring him at a vanity dinner. I never really worked with him, as he was mostly drunk when he was on my show, and too busy making deals with my producers for shows that copied mine (grace under fire, and Cybil’s show that copied AB FAB, which I once owned, and therefore sunk my hopes of producing) to turn in too many good scripts.
I feel sorry for Charlie Sheen, (and brett and cybil, both of whom were often out in the parking lot screaming at Chuck and crying) who has to not only be the bi-polar wizard Charlie Sheen, but had to toil as a tool for Lorre Enterprises Inc. and the preternaturally large Julie Chen’s very old comedically incontinent husband, Les, the power behind cbs, the network of choice for the dentally challenged.
Worst of all, though, Charlie had to be so degraded as to mouth some of the shittiest dick tit pussy and shit jokes that ever dribbled out of an actor’s mouth, rolled down his chin, and stained his shirt, thereby making ingesting knock out drugs a must in order to sleep shamelessly at night, and then snorting nose cavities full of stimulants upon waking to mask the soul decay that stared back at him in the morning mirror. After beating up prostitutes, and testifying against Heidi Fleiss, who supplied them unknowingly for his beating pleasure, Charlie was scouted by Chuck to help bring sexism back to tv and the culture at large, under a little known MKULTRA program designed to control the ‘minds’ of chronically masturbating males, ages 14-94.
Roseanne Barr, decidedly not Team Trolls.