The official trailer for the Tom Hardy vehicle Warrior is out, and lo, it is punchy. Not punchy in the sense of spirit or silliness, punchy in the sense that it is just full of people punching each other. So punchy, it calls for a second-by-second analysis.
Let’s do this:
:16 Ah yes, the old “toughest kid in the neighborhood” thing.
:19 Oh, lord, this is like when Ryan became a cage fighter on The O.C.
:27 ” … with Nick Nolte, as Pop”
:34 Wait, this is a war movie, too?
:39 Every time someone says “Tommy,” they sound like they’re on Rescue Me
:43 Money problems! It’s Lights Out with MMA. Also, hey, Noah Emmerich is in everything.
:53 Jennifer Morrison, you’re no Amy Adams.
1:01 HE’S A TEACHER. BUT HE’S ALSO GOING TO LEARN SOMETHING.
1:09 From the director of Miracle? You don’t say.
1:21 They managed to squeeze a training montage into a trailer. This is like people making cookie dough cupcakes, except for dude movies.
1:32 Ooooh, brotherhood.
1:41 All MMA matches should be accompanied by choral music.
1:58 For shame, Nick Nolte.
2:03 Holy trapezius muscles, Batman. And thanks for the voice-over.
2:05 MMA refs wear latex gloves?!
2:11 $20 says Pop dies.