Remember the moment in Zombieland when (spoiler alert!) Bill Murray appeared and your brain lit up with complete, joyous disbelief? Watching Murray in the Passion Play trailer is like that, except in reverse and exceedingly painful and forever. In case it’s not clear from the wings, Megan Fox plays an actual Michael-style angel, and is courted by Mickey Rourke’s trumpet player. A trumpet player! You can tell by his hat. According to IMDB, Fox is “an angel under the thumb of a ruthless gangster is saved by a trumpet player down on his luck.” Murray is the gangster; Mickey Rourke is A. Trumpet. Player.
In case you think I’m being unduly jerkular, please note that Passion Play’s plot points also include a band of ninjas and Rourke and Fox having “fairly graphic sex.” The movie is set to open in theaters May 6, almost guaranteeing that Murray will make Ghostbusters 3 or Hyde Park On The Hudson or Garfield 3: The Lasagnator, anything in order to get this brassy trumpet taste out of our mouths, and soon.