Rubber’s Psychotic Tire, and Nine Other Murderous Inanimate Objects
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Rubber’s Psychotic Tire, and Nine Other Murderous Inanimate Objects

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Tire, Rubber

Photo: Realitism
Is It Sentient? It's got telekinetic powers that kill insects, birds, and people. Why? No reason!
How Damaging Is It? Tremendously. Once it starts vibrating, someone's head is bound to explode. (You'll never view a Firestone the same way again.)
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Plants, The Happening

Photo: 20th Century Fox
Are They Sentient? Yes: Upset at human pollution, plants decide to release an airborne toxin that will induce suicide.
How Damaging Are They? To people, very damaging. To M. Night Shyamalan's career, even more so!
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Icicle, The Lovely Bones

Photo: Dreamworks
Is It Sentient? It's strongly implied (SPOILER ALERT) that the villain-dispatching icicle that falls and clobbers Stanley Tucci is heaven-sent.
How Damaging Is It? Fatal! Stanley Tucci really should never have left his Very Suspicious House of Molesting (icicles can't get you when you're inside with the blinds drawn and the lights off to accentuate your evilness).
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Anvil, Looney Tunes

Photo: Warner Bros.
Is It Sentient? It does have an unerring ability to land directly on Wile E. Coyote, no matter the height it's falling from.
How Damaging Is It? Though it looks painful, at least it's not permanent.
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Pencil, The Dark Knight

Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures
Is It Sentient? Nope. Though it stands up pretty well by itself!
How Damaging Is It? The Lovely Bones's icicle only hit Stanley Tucci on his shoulder. This pencil goes straight through a bad guy's head. Point, pencil.
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Football, The Brady Bunch

Photo: ABC
Is It Sentient? Not really — the Marcia-braining football in question is accidentally thrown by Peter — but did anyone check Jan's room for magical hex potions?
How Damaging Is It? Very damaging to Marcia's social life. There's no way she can go on a date looking like some swollen Disney starlet, pre-nose job!
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Tree, Poltergeist

Photo: MGM
Is It Sentient? Yes, and though the idea of a killer tree is a little cornball, this one is kind of terrifying. Take that, The Happening.
How Damaging Is It? It kidnaps Robbie and will freak out any kid who can see an errant limb through his bedroom window.
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Garage Door, Scream

Photo: Dimension Films
Is It Sentient? No, this Rose McGowan crusher is activated by Ghostface.
How Damaging Is It? Fatal! It's also a trick reprised in the upcoming Scream 4, though it's not quite as bad this time around.
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Piano, The Details

Photo: Lidell Entertainment
Is It Sentient? In the very first scene of the upcoming Tobey Maguire comedy, a piano falls randomly from the sky and crushes a primary character. Why? Where did it come from? You never find out, but as the rest of the story unspools in flashback, it's strongly suggested to be karmic justice.
How Damaging Is It? Significantly more damaging than Wile E. Coyote's anvil, to put it mildly.
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Microwave, Gremlins

Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures
Is It Sentient? It is not, but as the final tool in Mrs. Peltzer's Gremlin-killing arsenal, it's pretty awesome.
How Damaging Is It? See for yourself!


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