This one went by in a hurry. Travis still has an engagement ring burning a hole in his pocket, and Jules is still trying to stop herself from yelling at him not to use it. Helping her in her mission to be a less overbearing parent is a dare: The crew bets that she can’t survive a weekend on Bobby’s boat, because she’s the kind of woman who uses four towels after every shower and Bobby only has one, mangy “everything towel.” (Bobby, get one more towel.) Jules stocks up on wine, and after running out of food and having the last of her wine stolen by Shark, a homeless guy with a surfboard who circles the houseboat like Jaws (an A+ sight gag), she almost breaks down: Her hair gets extremely messy. But since Cobbs can do anything, Jules hunkers down, somehow smooths out her hair (was it the dog shower? Otherwise, this is inexplicable), and embraces dirty T-shirt living.
With Jules sequestered on the houseboat, Grayson is left to deal with Travis. At Jules’s insistence, he tries to figure out what Travis is up to. As suspected, Travis is planning on proposing to Kristen, because he loves her, it’s real, and he doesn’t want her to move to Chicago. After being manipulated into not telling Jules about what Travis is planning, Grayson talks to Kristen and realizes she’s going to say no. He tells Travis, but Travis decides to go ahead with asking anyway, otherwise he’ll always wonder what she would say. Grayson agrees with Travis’s logic. All this leads to Grayson and Jules, who are hanging on the beach after dark, watching Travis get rejected by Kristen. The three of them go back to the boat and have a nice moment: Travis can survive anything, because he’s a Cobb, and Cobbs can live on houseboats for a weekend. Jules and Grayson tell Travis they love him, and only the second “I love you” is weird. It’s going to be pretty rough when Jules and Grayson have to break up because she doesn’t want to have another kid.
Meanwhile, in the running joke-of-the-week story line, Laurie has instituted “The Council,” an organization comprised of members of the Cul De Sac Crew meting out punishment to other members of the Cul De Sac Crew when they misbehave. (The Council comes up with perfect punishments very quickly.) Ellie thinks she’s above everyone, so she’s got to hang out on the roof. Andy leaves Ellie in a hot car for fifteen minutes, so he’s got to spend an hour there. Bobby never thinks about consequences, so his punishment is waiting to hear his punishment, anxious all the while, awaiting the consequences. Eventually, all this handing out punishments gets too serious: The Cul De Sac Crew used to be a safe space, and all this Council-ing has made it a Big Brother–type one. These people should be allowed to harsh on each other unmolested. As Ellie says, “That’s what friends are: People you can constantly crap on.” Aw.
And on to the Cougar Town lexicon:
We Don’t Exist: a restaurant where Santa and the Karma gods regularly eat
An Everything Ring: an especially appealing engagement ring.
Lady J. Love Explosion: Jules’s pimp name
The Council: an organization leveling foster-home-style justice, in which punishments fit the crime
Pancake: Kevin’s football nickname
Spark Good, Fire Bad: a “rhyme” about how to control the electrical plugs on Bobby’s boat
Everything Towel: a towel one uses for everything — bathing, dish drying, etc.
“Girl I Got Stuff for You: the title to one of Kevin’s spontaneous songs
“Love Did This”: the title to another one of Kevin’s spontaneous songs
No Punishment Punishment: punishment in which the anticipation of a punishment is the punishment
Little Buddies: cockroaches
Shark: homeless man with a surfboard
Uterus up: female equivalent of “sack up”
Dog Shower: shower by dog spray
Little Richard: name of a very tiny wine glass