My heart broke when a disappointingly not-high Harrison Ford and Chewbacca fought on Kimmel last night, though the promise of an Air Force One…2 took the edge off a little bit. “Daniel Craig’s my Wookie bitch now,” Ford snarled at his former sidekick, in the best promotional plug for Cowboys And Aliens I’ve heard so far. I guess there are just some things that are unforgivable, like knowing your spouse cheated on you with a gigantic humanoid man-Yorkie. Oh, but those plaintive yowls! Harrison did divorce Mary Marquardt in 1979 after the release of New Hope, though whatever sex act she allegedly performed with Chewie that has her still coughing up hair balls 30 years later should still be reported to a licensed physician as soon as possible. As soon as possible.
