Patton Oswalt Crab Walks Into Catastrophe for 5-Second Films

Patton Oswalt’s Crabwalkin’ video for 5-Second Films is so cute/violent, I’m going to go ahead and gloss over the fact that he is clearly not crab-walking, at least in society’s mutually-agreed upon definition. As for the ill-fated meeting between his junk and a forcefully kicking leg, 5-Second Films explains, “Thus began a feud between two powerful families of pure hearts and proud walks, a feud as inevitable as the setting of the sun and the icing of the balls.” So, basically Romeo and Juliet, except the complete opposite and with more testicular hematoma.

Patton Oswalt Crab Walks Into Catastrophe for 5-Second […]