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superheroes
August 24, 2011

See Ryan Gosling, the Ultimate Beef Squasher, Squash Other Beefs

By Jen Cotton, Willa Paskin, Marisa Woocher

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Photo: Mark Wilson/2009 Getty Images
WASHINGTON - FEBRUARY 12:  U.S. President Barack Obama (R) shakes hands with House Republican Leader John Boehner (R-OH) (L) while  House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) stands nearby during a ceremony in the Rotunda of the U.S. Capitol Building February 12, 2009 in Washington DC. The ceremony was held to celebrate the 200th anniversary of the birth of Abraham Lincoln.  (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)
Photo: Mark Wilson/2009 Getty Images

On Monday, video surfaced of Ryan Gosling, that superman among men, intervening in a New York City street fight. With selfless disregard for his shopping bag and sporty striped tank top, Gosling boldly threw himself and his enormous arm muscles into the fray, breaking up the altercation with a gentle but firm touch, what appeared to be soothing words (we assume something like, “Hey guys … “), and a dignified, calm manner. Gosling is a great actor, but in this instance, he revealed his true identity: the ultimate Beef Squasher. Clearly, Ryan, like many a superhero, has been hiding his extraordinary powers from the public. (That tank top: Duh! It’s a uniform!) But no more. In the interest of keeping Ryan on the streets, fighting crime, we’ve assembled a slide show highlighting all of the beefs Gosling has surreptitiously, without credit, been squashing these many years. Needless to say, he has been doing impressive work soothing spats and we think it’s well past time he got the props that were his due.

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1 / 8 Photos
"Hey, Mr. President and Mr. Speaker, you can feel that good bicep burn, right?" "Hey, Mr. President and Mr. Speaker, you can feel that good bicep burn, right?"
"Hey, Mr. President and Mr. Speaker, you can feel that good bicep burn, right?"
Photo: Mark Wilson/2009 Getty Images
"Hey, Kanye, buddy, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let you finish ... " "Hey, Kanye, buddy, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let you finish ... "
"Hey, Kanye, buddy, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let you finish ... "
Photo: Christopher Polk/2009 Getty Images
"Hey, Ronnie, I've always found green tea gives a longer-lasting, better-feeling high than creatine, if you ever want to try it with me." "Hey, Ronnie, I've always found green tea gives a longer-lasting, better-feeling high than creatine, if you ever want to try it with me."
"Hey, Ronnie, I've always found green tea gives a longer-lasting, better-feeling high than creatine, if you ever want to try it with me."
"Hey, Bobby Draper, Betty over here is just sort of dead inside, so cut her a break?" "Hey, Bobby Draper, Betty over here is just sort of dead inside, so cut her a break?"
"Hey, Bobby Draper, Betty over here is just sort of dead inside, so cut her a break?"
"Hey, Walt, this Gus guy? He's not fucking around." "Hey, Walt, this Gus guy? He's not fucking around."
"Hey, Walt, this Gus guy? He's not fucking around."
Photo: Ursula Coyote/Copyright: AMC 2011
"Hey, British rioters, I was thinking, how about I take to you to a movie instead?" "Hey, British rioters, I was thinking, how about I take to you to a movie instead?"
"Hey, British rioters, I was thinking, how about I take to you to a movie instead?"
Photo: Raymond Yau/Raymond Yau
"Hey, Jacob, my brother in arms, look how pale this fool vampire is! I mean ... you guys should really chill." "Hey, Jacob, my brother in arms, look how pale this fool vampire is! I mean ... you guys should really chill."
"Hey, Jacob, my brother in arms, look how pale this fool vampire is! I mean ... you guys should really chill."
"Hey, Wile E. Coyote, you put your foot back on the ground right now. Nice kicks, though." "Hey, Wile E. Coyote, you put your foot back on the ground right now. Nice kicks, though."
"Hey, Wile E. Coyote, you put your foot back on the ground right now. Nice kicks, though."
1 / 8

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  • superheroes

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