This is not a hilarious bit of faux news people! The Onion’s paid content system, which will require readers to pay once they read more than five articles per month, is in it’s testing stages. As of yet only international users are affected; after surpassing the five per month limit, readers will be asked to subscribe for $2.95 a month or $29.95 a year. The system doesn’t affect the A.V. Club nor the homepage, nor will the system be put into place in locations hosting large numbers of American troops, because that is literally the last thing those people need. “By ‘test,’ we sincerely mean it. We want to know how people respond and act,” says Michael Greer, the Onion’s chief technology officer. “We’re not rushing.” The announcement also cites a poll of New Yorkers indicating that they’d buy The Onion over sex or water, a comparison that we’re all going to regret making once we’re living in Mad Max times.