Guys, despite my best efforts, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star’s box office was as shrimpy as Bucky’s own infant-sized phallus. C’est la micropenis. According to Box Office Mojo, Bucky pulled in a grand total of $1.45 million at 1,500 theaters, averaging out to approximately 8 audience members at each screening, the exact number that were at the show I saw. Oh, Math! Rotten Tomatoes currently has the film rated 1.9 out of 10 and somehow doesn’t even have a percentage rating yet, which I imagine isn’t a great sign. On the plus side, the film did cause the New York Times’ A.O. Scott to declare “Let me put the matter another way: this may be the worst movie Pauly Shore has ever been in,” before simply refusing to finish the review, and that’s gotta be worth something.