What would happen if, in a peyote-fueled gene-splicing experiment gone awry, you blended Armed and Famous, Steven Seagal: Lawman, The Expendables, and someone who thinks VH1’s celeb-reality programming is getting too highbrow? The resulting mutant offspring gurgling for love and attention might look something like The Z Team, Reelz Channel’s first reality show. The Z Team stars Lorenzo Lamas, Generation Kill’s Rudy Reyes, former WWE Diva Torrie Wilson, and B-movie mainstay Tommy “Tiny” Lister (157 credits in 26 years!) as they fight crime and full-on obscurity. Reality law-enforcement shows have a pretty crummy track record (““Man Sues Steven Seagal for Allegedly Killing Puppy“), but this seems like a nadir even for the especially phony genre of non-celebrity faux-police fake-fighting made-up crimes on a reality show. Just write them a crappy scripted cop show, Reelz! Problem solved.