American Horror Story
You have to wonder what Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuck would have done if we weren’t in the midst of a historic real-estate slump. Otherwise, it might be harder to logically counter the typical horror-audience screams to Just Leave the GD House Already. Thank goodness for the real-estate bubble and Bernie Madoff and the stock market, which all get their due for keeping the Harmons in their hell home. I can only imagine if the show had taken place in 1997, in seller-friendly, bull-market halcyon times. Ryan Murphy would have been so screwed! “Viv, we can’t move. We have to stay in and watch Caroline in the City.”
This episode was so much setup and backstory that we didn’t really get any decent scares or jaw dropping gimp-suit-sex moments, so in the ratings system I just invented five seconds ago, I’m only going to give it 2/5 potential Jarred Baby Heads. I guess now we have Tate, Moira, the Surgeon’s Wife, and probably now Hayden, all just cold kicking it in the house. Not sure what we’re setting up for here, but I still don’t know how Tate is dead and manages to be Pacific Sunwear’s most loyal customer. We’ll stay tuned for that, if nothing else.