Last night on the Colbert Report, Chris Martin seamlessly shows off his wits. Arriving at the set “17 percent high,” he conveys the merits of a band’s looks over its music – he’s not as “handsome” as pop star Ricky Martin but “much more attractive” than the musically gifted Radiohead – and gives his take on the new global band of the future. Hint: It’s not U2. Plus: Jesse Tyler Ferguson impersonates Sofia Vergara – “Do I say anything in this scene? I say nothing. I just look beautiful,” he says and pouts; and Sarah Paulson has a long tongue, but perhaps not as long as Craig Ferguson’s. Watch our compilation to see what you missed.