I don’t even want to write this, I’m so afraid of being targeted by Scientology (Haha, no I’m not! Bleep blorp! Thetans!). Newly leaked documents apparently reveal that the South Park Scientology episode, which aired in 2005, kicked off an extensive church investigation into the lives of Matt Stone and Trey Parker. According to papers released by former Scientologist exec Marty Rathbun, Scientologists staked out the South Park studios and even plotted to get a mole into the writers room, which is both horrifying and hilarious. Operatives also pawed through the pair’s garbage and went after their friends John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn. I can only assume it was when they were elbow-deep in Stamos muck that they looked around and asked, “How did our lives go so wrong that we’re doing this?” Smart smart smart smart smaaaaaart!