Halloween is on Monday, but all the Halloween parties are this weekend. Have you chosen your costume yet? No? You need to hurry! Don’t you know that if you don’t have the best, most clever costume, no one will ever love or respect you? You’ve got a lot riding on the line here! You need something amazing to get wasted in on Saturday!
Well, we’re here to help. We’ve gathered up a whole slew of comedy-related costume ideas for you, ranging from the ambitious and work-intensive to the insanely lazy. No matter how committed to this whole night of dress-up you are, you’ll find something here your speed.
Find this incredible shiny suit somewhere, somehow, and then dance like Rudd all night long. Bonus: once you find this suit, you can wear it to non-Halloween events, such as funerals and Bat Mitzvahs.
Print out a huge version of the Whitney ad of your choice, cut one of the faces out, and stick yours through the hole, making the appropriate bemused/exasperated facial expression.
David Cross’s Maple Syrup
In order to really nail this one, you need a fake arm so your other hand can be holding your throat so you can make that weird voice that he uses.
Cut out some paper flowers, slip into something yellow and remember, Sycamore: if they weren’t your friends, then why would they offer to wash your brain?
Greendale Human Being
You just need that full-body grey suit and the ability to see out of a full-body grey suit that covers your face. But once you’ve got that, you’re golden.
Ben Wyatt’s Batman
For this, you just need to wear a Batman costume, but you need to cry the entire night. You gotta commit to the crying, or you’re just a guy in a Batman costume, and that’s boring.
Grab a dutch boy wig, some buck teeth and a few gallons of fake ejaculate to spray all over the place. It’ll go over about as well as the movie did.
Entertainment 720-era Tom Haverford
If you already have those slippers in your closet, god bless you.
The hard part about this costume is that it’ll require you to shop at Ed Hardy to get the supplies.
Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids
If you’re reading this in bed, just roll over and ask Guy Fieri if you can borrow his cap, bowling shirt and can-do attitude for the weekend. Be sure leave him a little something extra on the nightstand for being such a good sport.
The Sizzler Sisters from Kids in the Hall
This would make a good couples costume, you PRIIIIIIIIIIICKS!
Funeral Home Make-up Frank from It’s Always Sunny’s “Frank’s Little Beauties” episode
Jonah Hill the way God intended him to be
Just wear a fat suit under a flannel shirt and jeans with a sign that says AS IT SHOULD BE.
Zombie Zooey Deschanel from New Girl
Note: this is my (Halle’s) actual costume this year, but I think it’s genius so ENJOY, WORLD.
Party Down caterer
Black pants, a white shirt, and a pink bow tie: this one is as simple as it gets, yet still recognizable. To make it a little less lazy, carry around a tray of finger food in one hand while checking text messages in the other.
A Mormon, from Book of Mormon
If you do this one, you need to commit with the black name tag and rolling suitcase. You can’t just wear a white shirt and a black tie, otherwise it’s not really a costume. Come on, put some effort in!
You’ll need a pattered or colored dress shirt, a pastel tie, and a sweater to put over them. Carry a banjo around with you for extra authenticity.
A Never Nude
All you need is a pair of cutoff jean shorts and the confidence to wear only those all night long.
Greg the flamboyantly gay kid from Curb
Balance out the mild-to-moderate offensiveness of Greg with a side part and a fabulous attitude. Swastika pillow sham highly, highly optional.
The Guy With A Good Attitude Toward Menstruation from Kids in the Hall
Dress as you normally would except the lower half of your face is smeared with fake blood and you are in an extremely good mood (may or may not be too gross/awesome for this world).