This April, James Cameron, HMFIC, is re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. To whet your appetite for the release, Cameron has cut together a brand-new trailer for this, the Titanic 3-D cinematic experience. But there is an iceberg ahead. Do you see it? The iceberg? It is cold and huge and, here’s the real trouble with it, totally two-dimensional. This trailer for Titanic 3-D … it’s in 2-D. Guys, this is just a trailer for Titanic. Why would the clever, obsessive, money printing, tireless 3-D promoter Jim Cameron (known in this trailer as “The visionary director of Avatar” in some backwards-ass credential-giving) do something like that? Oh, right! Because Titanic is totally great and fun and who cares if it’s in 3-D when the ship still looks really big, Leo still looks super cute, and at the 2:20 mark Jim can just cue up Celine Dion and let her wail. (“You’re here, there’s nothing to feaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar.” It will be with you all day.) So, in short, the trailer for Titanic 3-D is not really that different than the original trailer for Titanic — except now you can really appreciate how adorable and young Leo and Kate look — and that is just fine with us. Our hearts, they went on and on.