At the end of tonight’s whooshing, self-important intro package, Simon smugly tells us: “Tonight it’s not about the judges, it’s about the singers.” And thus begins two hours in which the judges bicker among themselves about their own song and wardrobe choices, and almost completely ignore the noises coming from the stage, which — honestly you guys? Were sometimes the wrong noises. Simon, to use one of your favorite criticisms from back when you were critical: I think when you watch this show back, you’re going to be very disappointed.
Tonight, they stretch the elimination out to a full hour! I hope we get to spend some of this time learning about the judges.