Louis C.K. said in his Reddit AMA that he would make a movie if he had $8 million. Shouldn’t be too hard to round up, right? We’ve taken it upon ourselves to come up with some Kickstarter incentives for the project:
$1: You get the satisfaction of being a material Louis C.K. supporter at the lowest possible level and nothing else because it’s only one dollar.
$5: You get to download Louis’ new special, obviously.
$25: You get a copy of the movie on DVD/Blu-ray/digital download/whatever.
$50: You get a copy of the movie and the first two seasons of Louie.
$100: You get a signed copy of the movie.
$150: You get a signed photograph of Louis’ gut.
$250: Your name will be listed at the end of the movie’s credits.
$500: You get one of Louis’ own black t-shirts.
$1,000: Louis will perform a defense for the ethnic slur of your choosing on video.
$2,000: Louis will insult a specific friend or family member of yours on video based on specifics you tell him about them.
$3,000: Louis will send you a private video of him eating an entire carton of ice cream, seen by no one else in the world but you.
$5,000: Louis’ daughters will send you a duckling.
$6,000: You get one subway ride with Louis totaling no more than 5 stops, and your name appears in the credits of the movie way ahead of those cheapskate $250 donors.
$7,000: Louis will meet you in a Starbucks for an hour and talk to you about your life and love and creative ambitions.
$10,000: You get a walk-on role in season 3 of Louie as someone giving Louis a disgusted look while he does something disgusting.
$20,000: Louis will help you build something, like a birdhouse or a swingset.
$30,000: Louis will officiate your wedding. No guarantees that it’ll be uplifting or put love/the institution of marriage in a positive light.
$50,000: Louis will come perform standup wherever you want for whoever you want.
$100,000: Louis will name his next standup special after you, such as The Jane Smith Memorial Louis C.K. Special.
$250,000: Louis will follow you around for a week and say funny things he thinks of all the time. During the day only - he gets his nights off because you may be insufferable and there’s only so much he can take.
$500,000: Louis will hang out with you/study you for however long it takes for him to be inspired to base a standup bit on you, which may or may not really make you look bad/sad.
$1,000,000: You get to be in the movie, but Louis gets to decide what you do and who you play and you have no say in the matter. You will have at least one line, and you’ll be an executive producer.