Oh, Alec. First you get kicked off a plane for playing Words With Friends, then you delete your Twitter, and now you write an apology to the other passengers that’s 99% complaints about “filthy planes, barely edible meals, cuts in jet service to less-traveled locations,” and other symptoms of “inelegant” air travel. And let’s not forget flight attendants “who walk the aisles of an airplane with a whistle around their neck and a clipboard in their hands.” You did at least learn a lesson, though, right? “The lesson I’ve learned is to keep my phone off when the 1950’s gym teacher is on duty.” Ah. Right.