This is how many of you will choose to interpret the “Superfestive!” remake of “All I Want for Christmas If You,” and, frankly, Vulture hears you. It is not so much that Justin Bieber’s remix is bad — It’s not! It can’t be! This song is bad-proof! — it’s just that it feels particularly unnecessary, given the wonder that is the original. And when Justin is singing his verse, it’s hard not to wish Mariah Elf were singing instead. Eventually, she chimes in again, and there’s a nice bit toward the end with the two of them and a sleigh and a holiday puppy (even Bieber’s harmonizing is kind of fun in that section, especially the “Shout” riff). There’s also plenty of “Mariah sexily dancing against a fake wall,” even though she has to split screen time with the Biebz. One final question: Is Bieber wearing a plaid “shircket” (shirt + jacket)? Discuss.