Zac Efron attempted to pull off a good old-fashioned crymance last year with Charlie St. Cloud, but for his new movie, The Lucky One, he’s not messing around: It’s adapted from a Nicholas Sparks novel, which means there is shoot-for-the-moon romantic dialogue like, “You should be kissed every day, every hour, every minute.” (That is a lot of kissing, you guys.) Efron plays a Marine who finds a photograph of a woman (Taylor Schilling) amid the rubble while serving in Iraq, then looks her up and starts loving her up when he returns to the U.S. She’s initially resistant to his advances — Who is this tattooed Marine who looks like Zac Efron? she must wonder. But eventually, on the advice of her horny mom played by Blythe Danner, she gives in and starts sexing up Efron in the most picturesque areas of her farm. And then she slides her hands down into his underwear and that’s in the trailer! The lucky one, indeed.