Picking the Oscar Hosts of Tomorrow
Now that the Great Oscar Host Shake-Up is behind us, one thing’s clear: The Oscars need to start grooming some future hosts. Since 1989, Billy Crystal, Steve Martin, and Whoopi Goldberg have pretty much just cycled through, with Jon Stewart popping up twice; Chris Rock, Hugh Jackman, and Ellen Degeneres each getting one chance; and Alec Baldwin piggybacking on Martin for a shot. (Let’s put the Anne Hathaway–James Franco tag team out of our minds — it’ll never happen again.) Given the Academy’s soft spot for sameness, here are several could-be hosts whose careers and capabilities match a previous hosts’. It’s time to pass those torches, ladies and germs.
The slot: The Winking Movie Star
Before his first hosting gig in 1990, Billy Crystal had been an SNL cast member and had a few comedy blockbusters un...
The slot: The Winking Movie Star
Before his first hosting gig in 1990, Billy Crystal had been an SNL cast member and had a few comedy blockbusters under his belt. Will Ferrell's a bigger star (and box-office draw) than Crystal, but they share an amiableness and lack of cruelty in their comedy, even if Ferrell's the perpetual child and Crystal the perpetual old man.
The slot: The Deceptively Dapper Actor
First off, there's an intrinsic kinship here in that they're both banjo players. But more important for the ho...
The slot: The Deceptively Dapper Actor
First off, there's an intrinsic kinship here in that they're both banjo players. But more important for the hosting job, they both play the same kind of easily unwound, straitlaced characters, as compared to the weirdos that, oh, Zach Galifianakis or Martin Short can bust out. This demeanor is perfect for a funny Oscar host: On the surface, it seems to be respecting a hallowed institution with a clean-cut, conservative appearance, but they can also let loose for hilariously goofy bits and jokes.
The slot: The Song and Dance Movie Star
Jackman cut his emcee teeth with charismatic turns as the host of the Tonys, as has Neil Patrick Harris (who ...
The slot: The Song and Dance Movie Star
Jackman cut his emcee teeth with charismatic turns as the host of the Tonys, as has Neil Patrick Harris (who will clearly get this first, obviously). But Jackman's résumé is more like Radcliffe's: Broadway cred and a giant hero-quest film franchise. Accio hostum!
The slot: The Seasoned Pro
Rosie has the daytime-host skill set (if not the Q scores) that Ellen has, and Conan has the same Emmy hosting experience....
The slot: The Seasoned Pro
Rosie has the daytime-host skill set (if not the Q scores) that Ellen has, and Conan has the same Emmy hosting experience. Plus, if the great Anne Hathaway and James Franco experiment taught us anything, it's that hosting takes practice. Like the practice one might get hosting one's own show for many, many years.
The slot: The Hilarious Serious Actress
Both first grabbed the Academy's attention for their Oscar-nominated roles as abused women in desperate situa...
The slot: The Hilarious Serious Actress
Both first grabbed the Academy's attention for their Oscar-nominated roles as abused women in desperate situations (Goldberg for The Color Purple, Sidibe for Precious). But obviously you don't pick a host based on their past excellence in the martyrdom arts. You pick them because they're funny and fast, and Sidibe has more than demonstrated her aptitude for comedy, plus her talk-show appearances have an ease and an edge that whisper "make this girl the Center Square."
The slot: The Court Jester at the Royal Wedding
Hollywood loves to believe that it can take a joke, particularly from a beloved liberal icon, and whe...
The slot: The Court Jester at the Royal Wedding
Hollywood loves to believe that it can take a joke, particularly from a beloved liberal icon, and where Stewart might have been just a little too respectful of the proceedings, it's unlikely that Colbert — who testified in front of Congress in character — would have that problem.
The slot: The New Guard
They both created iconic, if fringey, cable shows; they've both hosted the VMAs; and now they're both part of the establishme...
The slot: The New Guard
They both created iconic, if fringey, cable shows; they've both hosted the VMAs; and now they're both part of the establishment way more than anyone would have predicted back in the early nineties.
The slot: The Late Night King
Stylistically, they couldn't be more different, but Letterman defined "cool" late-night in the eighties and F...
The slot: The Late Night King
Stylistically, they couldn't be more different, but Letterman defined "cool" late-night in the eighties and Fallon's doing the same thing now. Both have comic voices distinctively their own, and while Letterman's absurdism might not have been a great fit for the Academy, Fallon's enthusiasm probably will be.