Ryan Gosling Is a Golden Globes No-Show; Internet Is Upset

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - SEPTEMBER 27: Actor Ryan Gosling attends the Premiere of Columbia Pictures' 'The Ides Of March' held at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' Samuel Goldwyn Theatre on September 27, 2011 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)
Photo: Frazer Harrison/2011 Getty Images

Explain yourself, Ryan Gosling! Admirers of handsomeness everywhere were hoping to see you in the Golden Globes mix on Sunday night — desperately wanting to reaffirm your Bradley Cooper-acknowledged beauty and root for your double Best Actor noms for Crazy, Stupid, Love and The Ides of March — and they got snubbed. (You got snubbed, too, losing to Jean Dujardin for The Artist and George Clooney for The Descendants…but that’s another sob story.)

Fortunately the Gosling no-show (GNS in all future references — in this post; in 2012; forever) lead to rampant, scandalized internet speculation. Here, we sort out the various #whereisryangosling thoughts.

His rep says “he’s working out of the country.” [People]
92 percent likely; contains phrase “working out.”

“Zero Ryan Gosling sightings.” [Paste] / “I am hearing rumors of a Goslingless Globes. Say it ain’t so.” [HitFix]
100 percent likely; it happened, tears were shed.

“His shooting schedule apparently kept him away from the night’s awards frenzy.” [L.A. Times]
85 percent likely; solid source, semi-vague explanation.

He’s doing mixed martial arts. More specifically, he’s in Bangkok filming Only God Forgives by Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn. [The Celebrity Cafe]
50 percent likely; although Gosling may be filming, it’s a chancy gamble to try and accurately peg which of his inevitable dozens of upcoming projects he’s working on.

According to The Ides of March writer Beau Willimon, “He does his own thing.” [LAT]
97 percent likely; tough to imagine The Gos doing something other than “his own thing.”

“The 2012 Golden Globes certainly would have been a tad more stylish had two-time nominee Ryan Gosling attended.” [Celebuzz]
99 percent likely; have you seen Crazy, Stupid, Love?!

“Can fans survive without Ryan Gosling?” [HuffPo]
100 percent likely; zero GNS-related casualties reported as of press time.

“Will somebody tweet me whether is at the Golden Globes? My wife NEEDS to know.” [Matt Schmitz/Twitter]
30 percent likely that this guy’s wife NEEDED to know.

Despite this very, very tough GNS, myriad ways remain to experience Gosling’s aesthetic greatness. [Vulture, here, now]
True. Go forth. Admire.

Ryan Gosling Is a Golden Globes No-Show; Internet Is Upset