Anthony Bourdain has filled out a fantasy Oscar ballot for the New York Times, and why not? If the contentious chef had his druthers, The Tree of Life would sweep the top two prizes, but as always with Bourdain, it’s more fun to hear him discuss what he didn’t like. “I loathed Midnight in Paris,” he tells the Times’ Rachel Lee Harris. “It’s everything bad about Woody Allen. It panders to a tiny, tiny minority. It is characters that don’t exist in real life, speaking dialogue like no one has ever spoken except in a Woody Allen film. It looked good and I guess the little History, Literature and Art 101 was impressive to somebody. If the word ‘elitist’ didn’t exist before, now it would. I hated everything about it.” But that’s not all: “I beyond loathed Extremely Loud and Incredibly Twee, I mean, Incredibly Close. I just hated those films so deeply.” Why won’t he tell us how he really feels?