As best Vulture can tell, the closest Drake has ever come to an episode of MTV Cribs is this 2004 behind-the-scenes segment on Degrassi Unscripted. (Note the Mean Girls–era Lindsay Lohan photo hanging up in “Aubrey’s space;” we were all so innocent back then.) Since no current video tour is available, we’ll have to make do with Drake’s latest cover for GQ, in which he wines and dines writer Claire Hoffman poolside at his L.A. home. What did they drink? Spritzers, naturally. Can you tell us a little about the backyard scene? “Waterfalls gush all around, surging over enormous boulders. Bronze animals — lions, elephants, giraffes! — checker the lawn … a giant fire, fit for a king from Middle-earth, burns in an outdoor fireplace, and a flat-screen TV plays Sixteen Candles.” Any info on the bedroom? “Paisley-swathed.” Indeed! Drake, you are so incredibly good at being Drake.