How I Met Your Mother Recap: ‘The Broath’

So How I Met Your Mother has become Lost with a laugh track, which is great because I kind of miss Lost! Well, I miss the first three and a half seasons (After “The Constant.” B.C. was aces. A.C. not so much) before the show was strictly concerned about making the denouement make some semblance of sense. As season seven of HIMYM is ending, the chess pieces are being put in place to put the gang at Barney’s wedding by the season finale, where it’s becoming more and more likely that the bride will be Quinn. The heavy plotting unfortunately isn’t making the show any funnier these past few weeks, which is an issue when it’s, you know, supposed to be a program that brings guffawage.

“The Broath“‘s main story involved Barney introducing Quinn to the MacLaren Five. First, Stinson made Ted swear on “The Bro Code” that he wouldn’t tell anyone else about Quinn’s background as a manipulative stripper. Ted of course immediately informs Marshall, Lily and Robin of Quinn’s background as a manipulative stripper. When the group are at Quinn’s apartment, the woman known as “Karma” in certain parts of town didn’t do herself any favors by bossing a seemingly whipped NPH around. The group later staged one of their interventions for Barney — with the twist of Marshall repeatedly making “Quinntervention” puns — to explain that Quinn was no good for him. She unfortunately walked in on this, became offended with Barney being ashamed of her profession, smacked him in the face and stormed off. It was “Quinntense.”

Feeling guilty about possibly ruining his life, Barney’s friends paid him a visit to his apartment. To make up for their transgressions, Ted, Marshall, Robin and Lily agreed to play along with Barney’s bro cult rituals. Their guilt is so strong that Robin and Lily kiss, with Lily — who hasn’t been shy about her crush on Robin for years now — of course attempting to make the moment last longer than Robin was willing. Ted and Marshall kissed as well, before Barney informed them that he was only going to ask that they bump fists. Womp womp. It turned out Quinn was watching the entire ritual unfold, and that her and Barney were manipulating the group from the beginning of the episode to teach them a lesson about meddling, or something. Seriously guys enough with the meddling, you’re not solving mysteries with a lovable pot smoking mutt. Barney and Quinn announced that they’re moving in together, with Quinn adding that the only way she’d stop working at her high paying job was if she got married. Say, would a Monday evening in May work?

Where was Barney’s ex Robin to make faces and comment about all of this? She was distracted battling Ted to get Quinn’s rent controlled apartment. Robin couldn’t handle living with that insufferably nice Patrice anymore, and Ted was having trouble dealing with the 18 year old doppelgängers of himself, Marshall and Lily at student housing. After fearing she was going to get fired, Robin was promoted to co-anchor the evening news with Sandy Rivers, which includes such a huge raise and national exposure that she didn’t remember all of the crap Rivers put her through the last time they were co-anchors six years ago. She told Ted at MacLaren’s that she found a deluxe apartment in the Central Park West sky and that he can take the stripper’s place. They toasted to having things back to normal, which was followed by an awkward silence. Robin left, and Saget Ted claimed he wouldn’t see her for “a long time” after that.

Also, Lily got mad at Marshall because it was obvious that every time he told a story about being with a woman he was talking about Lily, the only woman he’s ever been with. The funniest part of the running gag was when Lily revealed that Marshall once attempted to eat a meatball sub while having sex on an elevator, only to just make a damn mess. That’s what you get from taking sex tips from George Costanza.

“The Broath” wasn’t a total dud, what with the unexpected kissing pairings and another Fake History lesson from Mr. Stinson and all, but it definitely felt bloated and too much like set-up for the episodes we have to wait four weeks for. The promises of a Rivers/Scherbatsky on-air reunion, Lily giving birth, some sort of juicy dramedy with Barney and Quinn’s wedding, Ted meeting the mother at that wedding (remember that?), and that there isn’t a mystical body of water involved will have to hold us over for now.

Things To Say In Front Of The Working Fireplace In Your New Rent Controlled Apartment

“Are they chanting ‘bro’?”

“I have a monk guy.”

“Patrice is ironing my pants all wrong!”

“We’re looking out for your best interests. *cough* Quinnterests.”

“I’m a little shaky on Fake History.”

“Et tu, bro-te?”

“I feel bad for his future kids, dude.”

Things To Ponder After Taking A Ninja Star To The Forehead

How many times did we hear the name “Evelyn” in this episode anyway? Somewhere between seven and seven million? Kind of killed the joke.

I don’t think the leather bound version of The Bro Code that Barney made Ted swear on is for sale. You’ll just have to settle for paperback.

If the show has a ninth season, it might as well pair off Robin with Lily and Ted with Marshall, right? What if the Master Plan has a post-op Marshall as the mother all along? I ask all the important questions.

And season ten involves them solving mysteries, obviously.

Ted trying to reassure himself that his future children won’t be bored with his never ending stories seemed painfully meta.

The soundtrack to the final scene was provided by Wilco with their song “Open Mind.”

Next episode isn’t until April 16th. It’s title is “Now We’re Even.”

Neil Patrick Harris was the guest on this week’s Nerdist podcast. Apparently NPH, Breckin Meyer and Chris Hardwick all went out with the same woman back in the day.

(Not at the same time.)

Roger Cormier was just in the neighborhood with a bottle of wine and his credit scores.

How I Met Your Mother Recap: ‘The Broath’