Ryan Seacrest announced today that he’s “joining the NBC family”and will be participating in the network’s Olympics coverage. But what does that mean exactly? Seacrest already has a bunch of shows (he produces Shahs of Sunset, all the Kardashian shows, and other E! reality series in addition to hosting … everything), but it’s time for him to expand. Come, gaze into our crystal ball as we imagine all the ridiculous — pretend! — ways Ryan Seacrest could join the NBC lineup.
It’s the most obvious fit of all. Seacrest could be Christina Aguilera’s new weird hat.
Seacrest already has a background with Katharine McPhee and he is very All-American, so he could play someone from Karen’s Iowa past, because if there’s anything Smash needs to do, it’s focus more on Karen’s past.
Rock Center With Brian Williams
Ryan Seacrest could tweet that Rock Center is a show, and that could actually triple its audience.
Law & Order: SVU
Sure, it’s trendy to have a celebrity play a dirtbag “perp,” but we would way rather see Seacrest play a judge. “Tread lightly, counselor!” “You’re on thin ice!” “I’ll allow it, but make it go somewhere fast!”
We’re actually a little surprised this hasn’t happened: Seacrest and Joel McHale have such a textured history. He’d have to play one of Jeff’s rivals, or play himself given that Greendale has previously acknowledged the existence of a Ryan Seacrest.
The ghost who haunts Kenneth’s dreams.
In one reality, Simon Cowell is still on American Idol, and Ryan Seacrest is the host of X Factor.
The NBC family includes all of the Comcast networks, though. Where else might Seacrest appear?
Shawn has finally met his match: Seacrest should play Shawn’s new nemesis, a better-coiffed, even-quippier, whiter-toothed version of himself.
White Collar (USA)
White Collar loves a villainous rich dude, and Seacrest could have some fun as the well-heeled head of some kind of counterfeit ring. Can’t you picture him waltzing through one of those bright, all-glass atria that rich characters on USA shows always seem to have in their homes? (This character could cross over to Royal Pains.)
The Rachel Maddow Show (MSNBC)
Seacrest could be the special correspondent for the Walker recall in Wisconsin. Just because!
The Bad Girls Club (Oxygen)
Seacrest knows how to egg people on just the right amount — it’s what made the Paula-Simon stuff work when it did. (It did for a little while there, didn’t it?) Seacrest would have to don one of those protective outfits like instructors wear during self-defense classes on television, but once he put it on, he could serve as mediator/instigator.
Being Human (Syfy)
No one looks this telegenic for this long without some supernatural intervention. Seacrest is a clear choice to play a high-ranking member of the vampire community, perhaps an aide de camp to Mother.
WWE Smackdown (Syfy)
There are those who might like to see Seacrest wrestle, but we’d happily settle for seeing him referee. Or he could interfere with a match and just thwack someone with a folding chair.
Tabatha Takes Over (Bravo)
We’d watch Tabatha take over anything. Truly, anything. And we’d just about kill to watch her take over Ryan Seacrest’s production company.
Inside the Actors Studio (Bravo)
WHAT SOUND OR NOISE DO YOU LOVE, RYAN?
Mad Money (CNBC)
You can’t out-yell or out-hysteria Jim Cramer. You beat Jim Cramer by being calm and cheerful — Seacrest-style.
Relaciones Peligrosas (Telemundo)
Seacrest debe interpretar el papel de administrador de la escuela. ¡A él no le gusta Miranda, a él no le gusta shenanigans, y es más, a él no le gusta el contacto sexual improcedente! Pues … lo tiene bastante difícil.