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cannes 2012
May 18, 2012

A Trip Through the Weird and Wonderful Movie Posters at Cannes

By Kyle Buchanan

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Photo: Kyle Buchanan

What is the Cannes Film Festival? It’s a place where some of the most artistic and challenging movies in the world screen for a glamorous audience in black-tie … and yet, it’s also a place where movies toplined either by forgotten action stars or the fourth lead from the television show Step by Step come in the hopes of snagging an American distributor. Whether the movie is acclaimed or straight to VOD, they’re going to be front and center on the Croisette with a dazzling array of posters and billboards, and Vulture has collected some of the best (and worst) the fest has to offer. So what is Cannes, according to these one-sheets? Cannes is …

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... where Joey Fatone and Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years star in an apparent mash-up of the Hangover and American Pie franchises. ... where Joey Fatone and Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years star in an apparent mash-up of the Hangover and American Pie franchises.

... where Joey Fatone and Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years star in an apparent mash-up of the Hangover and American Pie franchises.

... where Gerard Butler wonders whether he'll be saving President Heigl or President Aniston. ... where Gerard Butler wonders whether he'll be saving President Heigl or President Aniston.

... where Gerard Butler wonders whether he'll be saving President Heigl or President Aniston.

... where the flesh-eating dead and Princess Di are both so delighted to be here! ... where the flesh-eating dead and Princess Di are both so delighted to be here!

... where the flesh-eating dead and Princess Di are both so delighted to be here!

... where posters touting an upcoming Sharon Stone–Draco Malfoy erotic thriller were unable to come up with two headshots that share a mood. ... where posters touting an upcoming Sharon Stone–Draco Malfoy erotic thriller were unable to come up with two headshots that share a mood.

... where posters touting an upcoming Sharon Stone–Draco Malfoy erotic thriller were unable to come up with two headshots that share a mood.

... where some dogs go to heaven, while others are sent back to Earth as vaguely cross-eyed canine cherubim. ... where some dogs go to heaven, while others are sent back to Earth as vaguely cross-eyed canine cherubim.

... where some dogs go to heaven, while others are sent back to Earth as vaguely cross-eyed canine cherubim.

... where this dour-looking "historical drama" has a title that's just a little too provocative in English. ... where this dour-looking "historical drama" has a title that's just a little too provocative in English.

... where this dour-looking "historical drama" has a title that's just a little too provocative in English.

... and so does this one. ... and so does this one.

... and so does this one.

... where Paddington searches in vain for Platform 9 3/4. ... where Paddington searches in vain for Platform 9 3/4.

... where Paddington searches in vain for Platform 9 3/4.

... where the lower budgets overseas do not allow for the proper weddings-to-funeral ratio. ... where the lower budgets overseas do not allow for the proper weddings-to-funeral ratio.

... where the lower budgets overseas do not allow for the proper weddings-to-funeral ratio.

... where the same studio can peddle a Sean Astin thriller and a Lord of the Rings rip-off! ... where the same studio can peddle a Sean Astin thriller and a Lord of the Rings rip-off!

... where the same studio can peddle a Sean Astin thriller and a Lord of the Rings rip-off!

... where you can see the movie that John Travolta shot during his alleged, uh, troubles. ... where you can see the movie that John Travolta shot during his alleged, uh, troubles.

... where you can see the movie that John Travolta shot during his alleged, uh, troubles.

... where Martin Lawrence is going really, really undercover. ... where Martin Lawrence is going really, really undercover.

... where Martin Lawrence is going really, really undercover.

... where almost every movie title is a play on Night of the Living Dead somehow, including this one ... ... where almost every movie title is a play on Night of the Living Dead somehow, including this one ...

... where almost every movie title is a play on Night of the Living Dead somehow, including this one ...

... and this one ... ... and this one ...

... and this one ...

... and this one, que lástima ... ... and this one, que lástima ...

... and this one, que lástima ...

... whereas this is more Dawn of the Dead ... ... whereas this is more Dawn of the Dead ...

... whereas this is more Dawn of the Dead ...

... and this one, in 3-D. ... and this one, in 3-D.

... and this one, in 3-D.

... where Harvey Weinstein has surely found his next The Artist. ... where Harvey Weinstein has surely found his next The Artist.

... where Harvey Weinstein has surely found his next The Artist.

... where "James Franco and some teenage nymphettes" is not simply a good band name. ... where "James Franco and some teenage nymphettes" is not simply a good band name.

... where "James Franco and some teenage nymphettes" is not simply a good band name.

... where Rose Byrne and Anna Faris are apparently making a British rom-com together? Who knew? Also, Anna Faris will never stop arranging her tally marks in a heart. ... where Rose Byrne and Anna Faris are apparently making a British rom-com together? Who knew? Also, Anna Faris will never stop arranging her tally marks in a heart.

... where Rose Byrne and Anna Faris are apparently making a British rom-com together? Who knew? Also, Anna Faris will never stop arranging her tally m...

... where Rose Byrne and Anna Faris are apparently making a British rom-com together? Who knew? Also, Anna Faris will never stop arranging her tally marks in a heart.

... where the girl from The Ring can finally crawl out of things in 3-D! ... where the girl from The Ring can finally crawl out of things in 3-D!

... where the girl from The Ring can finally crawl out of things in 3-D!

... where you win the Oscar for Best Foreign Film one day, then follow it up with an animated movie about foosball. ... where you win the Oscar for Best Foreign Film one day, then follow it up with an animated movie about foosball.

... where you win the Oscar for Best Foreign Film one day, then follow it up with an animated movie about foosball.

... where Wong Kar-wai's long-in-the-works The Grandmasters is perpetually rumored to be screening, yet only shows up on a billboard. ... where Wong Kar-wai's long-in-the-works The Grandmasters is perpetually rumored to be screening, yet only shows up on a billboard.

... where Wong Kar-wai's long-in-the-works The Grandmasters is perpetually rumored to be screening, yet only shows up on a billboard.

... where the wig budget on all those reflections must have been enormous! ... where the wig budget on all those reflections must have been enormous!

... where the wig budget on all those reflections must have been enormous!

... where the most advertised movie actually in French theaters is, for some reason, the negligible Amanda Seyfried thriller Gone. ... where the most advertised movie actually in French theaters is, for some reason, the negligible Amanda Seyfried thriller Gone.

... where the most advertised movie actually in French theaters is, for some reason, the negligible Amanda Seyfried thriller Gone.

... where whatever this is. ... where whatever this is.

... where whatever this is.

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