Variety had Schmidt (yes, Schmidt the character not Max Greenfield the actor who plays Schmidt) write letters to other television characters. For example, here’s his letter to Downton Abbey’s Cook: “I know all the other ladies are getting all the attention, but I like your style. You’ve got those big cook hands that you know I like. Keep doing your thing. I’ll go upstairs or downstairs, you know I will…” Yep.