Animal Practice will have to get a lot better, fast, if it’s going to be known as anything other than “that monkey show.” Last night’s post-ceremonies early debut made it clear that, as our TV critic wrote in his review, Crystal the monkey is the only good part of the new comedy (sorry, Justin Kirk). But why should Practice be the only show getting an adorable-creature boost? Lots of shows could benefit from the addition of a fuzzy mammal or two. Just imagine how much better things would be if every show cut to a sweet furry face every now and then! Even good shows could get some serious mileage out of featuring an easy-to-anthropomorphize critter.
The Newsroom Needs a Sloth
And that sloth lost someone on 9/11, thankyouverymuch. That’s why it’s so important to her to finally be working with people who Get It. (But with all the daytime sleeping sloths do, of course she struggles to keep up with all the banter.)
Breaking Bad Needs a Wombat
Wombats naturally hunt methylamine, and with Walt becoming increasingly estranged from his family, he really needs something cuddly to help him feel his feelings. Step aside, Badger.
American Idol Needs a Red Panda
Somebody has to sit next to Mariah Carey. Why not an endangered species? Plus, red pandas are known for their love of warbling.
Homeland Needs a Miniature Donkey
Terrordonk, at your service.
Grey’s Anatomy Needs a Therapy Golden Retriever
This one could actually happen! Everyone on this show has been a victim of multiple traumas, and people who struggle to open up to other humans often find comfort and purpose with therapy animals. As a bonus, think of all the extra weeping Shonda Rhimes can wring from us when she kills off the dog.