Photo: Mike Cline/Wikimedia
Minor cable networks tend to have minor television offerings, but it’s damn near impossible not to be excited about a show called I Was Impaled. Congratulations, Discover Fit & Health, for reaching either a peak or a nadir in concept and titling. The show is indeed about people getting impaled! Over the show’s six episodes, people will get impaled by:
- An iron spike
- a french fry (don’t laugh! According to the show’s press release, the fry “rips a man’s esophagus”!)
- pruning shears
- a fishing spear
- a fence post
- a planter
- a “foreign object”
- a bike brake lever
- a Christmas tree
- a barbed fishing hook
- air (don’t laugh, part II: “a man nearly dies after being pumped full of enough air to blow up a thousand party balloons.”)
- a surf board
- a stick
- someone else’s tooth
- another fence
- a piece of wire
- magnets
- a pencil (“64-year-old woman discovers she has a bug in her ear and a pencil in her brain”)
- a giant splinter
- a pole
- a needle
- a nail
- another pole
Do some of these sound like insane stories? Of course they do. Does that make us more comfortable with the idea that we now live in a world where there’s a show called I Was Impaled? Oh, not quite.
