Last night on The Tonight Show, a hobo-chic Shia LaBeouf acknowledged Tom Hardy’s “big boy” build. “Standing next to him, I felt like, uh, Josh Groban,” he muttered. You know, “meek.” (But no offense to the singer — LaBeouf actually rocks a JG tattoo.) So in order to believably look the brother in Lawless — as if he’s cut from “the same fabric of man” — LaBeouf had to gain forty pounds. Plus: Mary Louise Parker became curiously sensitive — not over the season finale of Weeds, for which she and Hunter Parrish had already held a cry-fest — but an old arm surgery induced by her own clumsiness. Also, Bill Hader demonstrated a dance move from Yo Gabba Gabba so anticlimactic both he and David Letterman had to throw back a bottle of Jose Cuervo; Tyra Banks presented a strikingly different demo of the “booty tooch.” It’s “the art of isolating the buttocks from the rest of your body and poking it out while not moving the rest of your body to create a high-fashion yet sexy shot,” per the TyTy dictionary that’s also given us “smize.” There’s the “ghetto tooch,” “poochie tooch,” and what any top model should strive for, the “Gucci tooch.” And lastly, A$AP Rocky made his late-night TV debut of “Goldie” off his upcoming album LongLiveA$AP. Watch our compilation to see what you missed.