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remember these?
August 15, 2012

The Simpsons Writers Pick Their Ten Favorite Obscure Characters

By The Simpsons Writers

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Photo: FOX

According to the Simpsons Wikia, after 23 seasons there are now 1,612 characters in The Simpsons’ universe, from major to minor to celebrities just passing through for a voice cameo. When citing or quoting the show’s most memorable supporting figures, most fans tend to dwell on such iconic recurring Springfieldians as Comic Book Guy and Lenny and/or Carl, who have strutted (or, in the case of Disco Stu, danced) through the town on multiple occasions. But this gives short shrift to the more fleeting figures, those quick cameos who may have only been seen in one episode or even had just one line, but still made an impression on the show’s obsessive fans. These are your Screamapillars,  your Sideshow Raheems, your Khlav Kalash vendors. Viewers’ favorites will vary, but we decided to go to the current Simpsons writers room’ and ask them to confer and come up with their favorite obscure characters from the show’s history. Here are their ten picks. (Sorry, Elf Dwarf fans: He didn’t make the cut.)

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When someone asks for parking validation at Flanders' Leftorium store for left-handed people, he says, "Oh, right as rain. Or as we say around here, 'Left as rain!'"; the prickly parker gruffly replies, "Just stamp the ticket." That voice, and attitude, has reappeared on the show many times without us ever giving the character a name, an inspiration to lazy writers everywhere. (Character voiced by Hank Azaria.) When someone asks for parking validation at Flanders' Leftorium store for left-handed people, he says, "Oh, right as rain. Or as we say around here, 'Left as rain!'"; the prickly parker gruffly replies, "Just stamp the ticket." That voice, and attitude, has reappeared on the show many times without us ever giving the character a name, an inspiration to lazy writers everywhere. (Character voiced by Hank Azaria.)

When someone asks for parking validation at Flanders' Leftorium store for left-handed people, he says, "Oh, right as rain. Or as we say around he...

When someone asks for parking validation at Flanders' Leftorium store for left-handed people, he says, "Oh, right as rain. Or as we say around here, 'Left as rain!'"; the prickly parker gruffly replies, "Just stamp the ticket." That voice, and attitude, has reappeared on the show many times without us ever giving the character a name, an inspiration to lazy writers everywhere. (Character voiced by Hank Azaria.)

It began as the name of a store, then quickly grew into a swashbuckling, Spanish romantic in the Zorro mode, then devolved into a loser with a crummy car. To this day, we consider the selling out of this noble doorbell industry spokesperson to be one of our great failures as a writing staff. It began as the name of a store, then quickly grew into a swashbuckling, Spanish romantic in the Zorro mode, then devolved into a loser with a crummy car. To this day, we consider the selling out of this noble doorbell industry spokesperson to be one of our great failures as a writing staff.

It began as the name of a store, then quickly grew into a swashbuckling, Spanish romantic in the Zorro mode, then devolved into a loser with a crummy ...

It began as the name of a store, then quickly grew into a swashbuckling, Spanish romantic in the Zorro mode, then devolved into a loser with a crummy car. To this day, we consider the selling out of this noble doorbell industry spokesperson to be one of our great failures as a writing staff.

While this was Marge's negative nickname for Artie Ziff and his unwanted advances, the name is also shared by a German nobleman who wears a nineteenth-century Prussian uniform and has giant kissable lips (voiced by Dan Castellaneta). Owing to his giant lips and unfortunate name, he believes he is misunderstood. He is not. He likes to kiss and kisses a lot. Also the star of The Simpsons' first-ever spinoff series premiering fall of 2013. This series has already been canceled. While this was Marge's negative nickname for Artie Ziff and his unwanted advances, the name is also shared by a German nobleman who wears a nineteenth-century Prussian uniform and has giant kissable lips (voiced by Dan Castellaneta). Owing to his giant lips and unfortunate name, he believes he is misunderstood. He is not. He likes to kiss and kisses a lot. Also the star of The Simpsons' first-ever spinoff series premiering fall of 2013. This series has already been canceled.

While this was Marge's negative nickname for Artie Ziff and his unwanted advances, the name is also shared by a German nobleman who wears a nineteenth...

While this was Marge's negative nickname for Artie Ziff and his unwanted advances, the name is also shared by a German nobleman who wears a nineteenth-century Prussian uniform and has giant kissable lips (voiced by Dan Castellaneta). Owing to his giant lips and unfortunate name, he believes he is misunderstood. He is not. He likes to kiss and kisses a lot. Also the star of The Simpsons' first-ever spinoff series premiering fall of 2013. This series has already been canceled.

When writing the episode about Bart getting caught trying to shoplift the videogame Bonestorm, we were here till two in the morning pitching on the name for the mall security guard who catches him (voiced by Lawrence Tierney) to get it right. And it still seems right. If you know why, please tell us. When writing the episode about Bart getting caught trying to shoplift the videogame Bonestorm, we were here till two in the morning pitching on the name for the mall security guard who catches him (voiced by Lawrence Tierney) to get it right. And it still seems right. If you know why, please tell us.

When writing the episode about Bart getting caught trying to shoplift the videogame Bonestorm, we were here till two in the morning pitching on the na...

When writing the episode about Bart getting caught trying to shoplift the videogame Bonestorm, we were here till two in the morning pitching on the name for the mall security guard who catches him (voiced by Lawrence Tierney) to get it right. And it still seems right. If you know why, please tell us.

It first appeared in an Ice Capades Christmas Show as a man inside a costume with his beloved catchphrase, “Grumply, grumply groo.” Later, after being struck with a pool cue, green liquid leaked out of his eyeholes, leading a terrified Homer to ask, “What is this thing?” Still later, the Grumple bought a house from Gil Gunderson for his family in Scottsdale ... unfortunately, during the height of the real-estate bubble. It first appeared in an Ice Capades Christmas Show as a man inside a costume with his beloved catchphrase, “Grumply, grumply groo.” Later, after being struck with a pool cue, green liquid leaked out of his eyeholes, leading a terrified Homer to ask, “What is this thing?” Still later, the Grumple bought a house from Gil Gunderson for his family in Scottsdale ... unfortunately, during the height of the real-estate bubble.

It first appeared in an Ice Capades Christmas Show as a man inside a costume with his beloved catchphrase, “Grumply, grumply groo.” Later, after being...

It first appeared in an Ice Capades Christmas Show as a man inside a costume with his beloved catchphrase, “Grumply, grumply groo.” Later, after being struck with a pool cue, green liquid leaked out of his eyeholes, leading a terrified Homer to ask, “What is this thing?” Still later, the Grumple bought a house from Gil Gunderson for his family in Scottsdale ... unfortunately, during the height of the real-estate bubble.

A Willy Wonka–ish entrepreneur who delights the family with phrases like “Oh golly graciousness” until they discover he is a former green beret who is crazy for real. A Willy Wonka–ish entrepreneur who delights the family with phrases like “Oh golly graciousness” until they discover he is a former green beret who is crazy for real.

A Willy Wonka–ish entrepreneur who delights the family with phrases like “Oh golly graciousness” until they discover he is a former green beret who is...

A Willy Wonka–ish entrepreneur who delights the family with phrases like “Oh golly graciousness” until they discover he is a former green beret who is crazy for real.

Not technically a one-shot, he passed away in season six's “'Round Springfield” after debuting in season one's “Moaning Lisa.” (His voice-over actor, Ron Taylor, sadly died in 2002.) His hologram will be resurrected by unscrupulous music producers later this season. Not technically a one-shot, he passed away in season six's “'Round Springfield” after debuting in season one's “Moaning Lisa.” (His voice-over actor, Ron Taylor, sadly died in 2002.) His hologram will be resurrected by unscrupulous music producers later this season.

Not technically a one-shot, he passed away in season six's “'Round Springfield” after debuting in season one's “Moaning Lisa.” (His voice-over actor, ...

Not technically a one-shot, he passed away in season six's “'Round Springfield” after debuting in season one's “Moaning Lisa.” (His voice-over actor, Ron Taylor, sadly died in 2002.) His hologram will be resurrected by unscrupulous music producers later this season. 

Originally an alarming symbol of the town's radioactive blight, Blinky has found love and acceptance and now appears on every official piece of Springfield signage and stationery. Originally an alarming symbol of the town's radioactive blight, Blinky has found love and acceptance and now appears on every official piece of Springfield signage and stationery.

Originally an alarming symbol of the town's radioactive blight, Blinky has found love and acceptance and now appears on every official piece of Spring...

Originally an alarming symbol of the town's radioactive blight, Blinky has found love and acceptance and now appears on every official piece of Springfield signage and stationery.

A character whose popularity surprised us so much we still haven’t figured out a way to work him into the show. A character whose popularity surprised us so much we still haven’t figured out a way to work him into the show.

A character whose popularity surprised us so much we still haven’t figured out a way to work him into the show. 

Possibly the most re-demanded one-shot. He was an employee-focused ideal boss, voiced by Albert Brooks, but unfortunately also a super villain. We look forward to having him back on The Simpsons once he’s finished serving his 47 consecutive life sentences. Possibly the most re-demanded one-shot. He was an employee-focused ideal boss, voiced by Albert Brooks, but unfortunately also a super villain. We look forward to having him back on The Simpsons once he’s finished serving his 47 consecutive life sentences.

Possibly the most re-demanded one-shot. He was an employee-focused ideal boss, voiced by Albert Brooks, but unfortunately also a super villain. We loo...

Possibly the most re-demanded one-shot. He was an employee-focused ideal boss, voiced by Albert Brooks, but unfortunately also a super villain. We look forward to having him back on The Simpsons once he’s finished serving his 47 consecutive life sentences.

1 / 10

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