Follow Friday: @StevenAmiri

Everybody is a comedian on Twitter, but only a select few are truly worthy enough to have all of their witticisms transmitted to you, the ever busy comedy fan trying to navigate through an increasingly congested internet. Every Friday we’ll make your life a little bit easier by introducing you to an individual who consistently makes us laugh and momentarily forget that other days of the week exist.

(If you’re reading this from an RSS feed, jump on over to the website where you can actually view the tweets for an optimal level of enjoyment.)

Steven Amiri (@StevenAmiri) is a very funny tweeter that has been featured in InTouch magazine, someecards and National Lampoon magazine who apparently thinks about the Kennedy assassination often.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/225784019739107328”]

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/235515921916121088”]

Steven knows where Monica Lewinsky was the other night.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/243543570349445122”]

Amiri probably does well with the ladies.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/241546454588608513”]

He scouts for future stars of Werner Herzog movies.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/StevenAmiri/status/218114140378644480”]

Steven is a lawyer who has discovered a very interesting corporate ownership loophole.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/28926107206033408”]

Would “republics” work?

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/231237153227689984”]

Steven might have come up with an idea that could lead to record shattering pole vault records.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/232660976175030272”]

After all…

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/StevenAmiri/status/236480784100360192”]

Amiri is not a fan of a certain TLC reality show.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/235557816453189632”]

He knows why Val Kilmer hasn’t seemed to be as philanthropic as he used to be.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/227915065976832000”]

Steven asks the right political questions.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/234135538309947392”]

Amiri would like to direct ghosts to specific destinations.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/230513602992414721”]

He’s pretty shitty at naming things.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/228561457401450496”]

Steven isn’t afraid to shed light on the dark side of some zebras.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/StevenAmiri/statuses/228874590846332929”]

Amiri is no Dave Coulier, but to be fair only one individual can be.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/StevenAmiri/status/217326496484831232”]

Dave Coulier would have no problem with opening juice.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/242774363185745920”]

He might know how Lance Armstrong cheated.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/213061765318184960”]

Steven understands that the Secret Service’s job is even harder than we imagine it.

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/StevenAmiri/statuses/231783087510519808”]

Amiri might want to call the Secret Service about his knowledge of American Idol’s former and current employees

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/stevenamiri/status/237619226536452096”]

Roger Cormier was the inspiration for three Gotye songs that you’ve never heard of.

Follow Friday: @StevenAmiri