Ben Affleck, Hollywood’s Most Confused Dad

Ben Affleck takes baby son Samuel Affleck to dinner with wife Jennifer Garner and his daughters Violet Affleck and Seraphina Affleck in Pacific Palidades, California.
Pictured: Ben Affleck and Samuel Affleck
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Like many two-actor couples, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner arrange their schedules so that only one parent is filming at any given moment, allowing for more time with their three children. This means that when Jennifer Garner is working, Ben Affleck is on Dad Duty. Know this about Ben Affleck: He is a deeply committed father, ferrying his daughters to ballet practice and play dates and attending their many tea parties. But sometimes he looks a little baffled by the undertaking, like no one ever explained hair bows or Dora the Explorer to him. Look, we have proof:

Okay, you’re thinking, he looks totally in charge — the girls are wearing matching outfits; Affleck has matching shoes; he remembered to pick up flowers (10 dad points).

Photo: Splash News

He even has time to practice his smolder during carpool.

Photo: Splash News

But then everyone takes a little too long eating their Happy Meals, and Violet wants to change skirts, and suddenly we’re late for soccer practice.

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Why is this even a sport? All the kids are just chasing the one ball, and then the game ends in a tie. No one plays soccer in Southie.”

Photo: Whittle / Splash News

Parenting pro tip: If you can’t see the cotton candy mess, then the cotton candy mess did not happen.

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Illustrated Stories from Dickens goes over about as well as you would expect.

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Googling “children’s books that my daughters will actually enjoy.”

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“You’re too little to play soccer, but one day I’m gonna teach you how stupid it is.”

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“Please don’t make me go to another soccer game. Please don’t make me go to another soccer game.”

Photo: Reefshots / Splash News

“Oh. You should’ve told me the other option would be decorating cupcakes.”

Photo: Splash News
Ben Affleck, Hollywood’s Most Confused Dad