Vulture Contest: Win the Beatles’ Remastered Catalogue on Vinyl!

This can be yours!

Black Friday came and went. And so did Cyber Monday. So, welcome to Try to Win the Beatles’ Studio Album Vinyl Remasters Boxed Set Wednesday! The limited-edition set includes the band’s twelve original U.K. albums, the U.S.-originated Magical Mystery Tour, and Past Masters Volume One & Two, remastered in stereo as they were for their 2009 CD releases, but now all put on 180-gram, high-quality vinyl, the way John, Paul, George, Ringo, and God intended Beatlephiles to hear them. Each record comes with the original album art, and the box includes a 252-page hardbound book that dissects each album as well as the process of putting them all back on vinyl. And we have one copy to give to a Vulture reader who wins our contest. 

Here is your challenge: The time for gift-giving is also the time for terrible holiday novelty songs, so we want you to turn your favorite Beatles song into an awful seasonal parody song. How awful? Here are a few examples: 

(In the style of “Hey Jude”)
Hey, Jews, don’t be afraid
You were made to light a menorah
The minute you get that dreidel win
Then you begin
to eat some latkes (latkes, latkes, latkes, latkes, LATKES AAAAAAAAH!)

(In the style of “Let It Be”)
When I find myself in times of wanting, my Dad and Mother come to me
Speaking words of presents, Christmas Tree
And in an hour of darkness, Santa’s standing right in front of me
Speaking words of presents, Christmas Tree
Christmas Tree, Christmas Tree, Christmas Tree, Christmas Tree
Whisper words of presents, Christmas Tree

(In the style of “Yesterday”)
New Year’s Day, all my tequilas seem so far away
Now I’m puking up something gray
Oh, I’m hung-over on New Year’s Day

Put your submissions in the comments below. We don’t need a whole song — just three to four lines. We will judge the lyrics on how faithful they are to the original and how bad-good they are. (We’re hoping for a minimum of one groan per entry.) Only lyrics submitted by midnight tonight, November 28, will be considered. We will reveal the winner on Friday. Full contest rules are available here. Good luck!

Win a Beatles Vinyl Remasters Boxed Set