It is not enough to just tell some funny jokes at an awards show; no, you have to dance and perfect your old-timey voice and somehow make sure that everyone at home gets hammered by 9:30 thanks to the obvious but still-sorta-fun-until-someone-pukes drinking games they’ve devised. Please know that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have it covered — so much so that the co-hosts wrote rules for their own 2013 Golden Globes Drinking Game (at the behest of The Hollywood Reporter.) They are as follows:
- Drink any time an actress cries in a speech.
- Drink any time you see a person actively not listening to someone onstage.
- Drink any time someone says, “I didn’t prepare anything!”
- Eat a meatball sub any time someone thanks Harvey Weinstein.
- Take off an article of clothing any time they show Judi Dench.
- Take off an article of clothing any time Maggie Smith wins.
So, see you drunk and sockless on Sunday. BYO meat products.